Discussion » Questions » Babies and Kids » Anyone else pro spanking?

Anyone else pro spanking?

Reasonable spanking has served me well. Strict Gram-retired teacher

Posted - September 30, 2016

Responses


  • 3934
    No, the scientific evidence suggests spanking is no more effective than other forms of discipline for the overwhelming majority of children. Moreover, corporal punishment has only been shown to be effective under very narrow conditions, which the vast majority of corporal punishment proponents neither follow nor are even aware of.

    Meanwhile, the usual justification I hear from proponents is "My parents smacked the crap out of me and I turned out fine." OK, some people play the lottery, too, and actually win. But it's not the way to bet. This post was edited by OldSchoolTheSKOSlives at October 1, 2016 4:19 AM MDT
      September 30, 2016 11:56 AM MDT
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  • 17261
    I have the feeling this one is most likely only children. I don't believe in raising children by fear. I prefer they understand, respect and reason their way into adulthood. The spanking can be rather.. Ahem.. Inspiring in an adult relationship, but that's something totally different. ;-)
      September 30, 2016 1:23 PM MDT
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  • 17261
    So true!
      September 30, 2016 1:41 PM MDT
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  • That's not what you said the other day.
      September 30, 2016 7:45 PM MDT
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  • 691
    My family is indian and they all spank their kids so I got spanked a few times. Americans make a huge issue over it but a normal spank is nothing greatly painful or can injure.  Of course I understand that spanking can turn to beating and abuse but so can yelling, so can the idea of a time out, so can anything.
      September 30, 2016 12:23 PM MDT
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  • 3934
    @ITP -- And where do you draw the line? More importantly, can you come up with consistent guidelines which guarantee "normal spanking"
    doesn't devolve into abuse? NFL running back Adrian Peterson thought it was "normal spanking" to use a switch on a 4-year-old because "that's the way my Daddy did it." On what basis are you going to tell him he's wrong?

    http://www.eonline.com/news/600054/adrian-peterson-speaks-out-about-child-abuse-case-after-nfl-suspension-i-won-t-ever-use-a-switch-again

    And, that's the problem. Yes, it IS true that most kids who endure some spanking turn out OK. Even some kids who get abused turn
    out OK. But when you start trying to draw the line in some objective evidence-based way, the data shows spanking is effective and
    not abusive only in narrow circumstances which few spanking advocates ever follow.

    The fact that spanking is (usually) not harmful in the long term is NOT a justification for approving of it. This post was edited by OldSchoolTheSKOSlives at September 30, 2016 1:00 PM MDT
      September 30, 2016 12:59 PM MDT
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  • 691
    Where is the line with any punishment? Spanking is singled out maybe as it is associated with fighting. I do not know. But my point was that line is not a hard clear line with spanking and it is not with anything. Parents also feed their children endless sweets and some will turn out ok but many will have their health damaged and damaged more than by spanking and there are constant other times when parents do things that will damage their kids as normal part of society and those things are not so controversial as spanking. I endured a few spanks at the hand of my father but with luck I did not endure the endless feeding of candy and this is very lucky because I am high risk of developing diabetes and had I been fed such I probably would have diabetes today. That would be far worse than the memory of having taken a spank on the butt that I deserved.
      September 30, 2016 4:54 PM MDT
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  • 2148
    Spanking isn't associated with fighting and that's not the real reason why it is singled out. It's because it is associated with sado-masochism and the current powers-that-be hate that and because they, personally, hate it they will jolly well see to it that it is stamped out. Because they have this crazy notion that spanking causes this kind of fetish, that's the real reason why they single spanking out despite the fact that it doesn't actually cause fetishes. One is either born with such a fetish or one is not, full stop. If it is there, it will be aroused sooner or later with or without spanking during childhood (I can prove that). Similarly, if it is not there to begin with it will never be aroused no matter what. As far as I can see, the powers-that-be are the kind of idiotic wackaloons who think we start off with a blank slate or some nonsense like that. Well, we don't.

    The reason why I wouldn't spank children is because to me it's an adult pleasure (for reasons I've already stated) and should not involve minors. There is nothing wrong with that point of view, is there?
      October 8, 2016 5:06 AM MDT
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  • 4
    My wife and I use spanking with our daughters only as a last resort.  Believe me, I've tried a whole host of options from writing sentences, grounding, restriction of privileges and finally spanking.  It's our last option when one of our girls wants to get out of line.  They both have a list of actions that will get them a spanking and we keep a tally as to how many times they've been punished.  Each occurrence is another swat with the paddle (do it once you get one swat, twice gets you two, three gets you three and so on).
    So far the highest has been my oldest daughter with for marks for misusing/abusing/losing her phone.  She has learned to respect the rules of our house even if she doesnt agree with, or claim to understand them.  For my wife and I, spanking has become the last resort of punishment against stubborn children who feel like they have more rights than their parents.
      September 30, 2016 2:02 PM MDT
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  • 5835
    The problem there is that you only think in terms of punishment, like maybe it's ok to beat a kid with your left hand instead of your right. Beating is only effective for you, not the kid. For the kid it's just something to outgrow, like a burn or a bug bite.

    I f you love a kid, it doesn't make much difference if you beat him or not. I f you don't love a kid, it doesn't make much difference if you beat him or not. 
      September 30, 2016 2:20 PM MDT
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  • Do you not think that by the fact that you have all this spanking gradations that spanking is really not working. If it worked one swag should be enough, don't you think?
      October 2, 2016 8:15 AM MDT
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  • 4
    Not necessarily. That's like saying, "If we charge people for breaking the law then they should certainly learn in just one penalty!"  The thing is, people don't learn, especially kids.  Being an Education major I've experienced that fact first hand.  Also, people who break the rules dont care about the punishment, they care about the reward.

    Think about it.  The people who rob banks or steal, yea, they could get a real job just like you and me, be productive members of society, follow the rules and everything, but they wouldn't get as much, as easily, if they broke the rules.  There's incentive in it for them not to follow the rules.  I'd like to think that the possibility of punishment is what keeps those people on the edge of breaking the rules/laws on the correct side of that line.

    To specifically answer your question, no, one swag isnt always enough just like doing something one time doesn't make someone perfect at it.  Sometimes it takes repeated attempts to learn the right way of doing things. This post was edited by DarthIncest at October 7, 2016 2:24 PM MDT
      October 7, 2016 2:20 PM MDT
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  • That punishment does not influence behaviour as you say, proves my point. Obviously spanking does not work. Even for you.
    Also, why do you have incest in your name?
      October 7, 2016 9:48 PM MDT
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  • I'm ok with it, as long as they pay their taxes and charge reasonably for drinks.
      September 30, 2016 6:19 PM MDT
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  • My daughter got a few spankings when she was younger. They were few and far between and I never spanked her too hard. 
      September 30, 2016 8:25 PM MDT
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  • We did spank our son once in a blue moon when he was very little.  But as he got older, it just wan't necessary or helpful IMO.  We preferred to use other disciplinary techniques like time outs or taking away privileges instead.  Usually if parents are consistent with their discipline and generous with positive reinforcement .. kids learn to follow their rules without physical consequences.
      October 1, 2016 4:22 AM MDT
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  • Bez

    2148
    I don't have any children but if I did I wouldn't spank them myself. I am another one of those people who sees spanking as an adult pleasure, therefore I believe it should be kept away from children.
      October 1, 2016 4:28 AM MDT
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  • 3
    Our daughters are spanked when required as last resort and tried groundings etc and we try to discuss and listen but at last resort we do spank
      October 2, 2016 7:35 AM MDT
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  • 3
    It is last resort for serious issues when punishment is needed 
    grounding tried but difficult to police and when required short sharp shock and it works but teenagers will have phase of challenging things 
      October 2, 2016 8:21 AM MDT
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  • Beating a kid only shows him that violence is the right way to deal with disagreements when we don't know what else to say. It's lazy, and cowardly. Any parent can make a kid behave by beating them. It takes a real parent to make him do so with a look and by talking. I cannot imagine that there could possibly be ANY circumstance in which id strike my daughter. Ever.
      October 2, 2016 8:22 AM MDT
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  • 3
    Each family different and I respect your choice and we do talk and listen 
    its not a beating but respect your family decision 
      October 2, 2016 8:24 AM MDT
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  • If you think it served you well then it probably did - but that may be because your parents communicated the boundaries of behaviour clearly and were moderate, sparing,  consistent, fair, and never acted in anger. Statistically, few parents achieve this.
    A huge number of studies of corporal punishment have been conducted by psychologists across the world, longitudinal studies following children from toddler age to adulthood, and broad studies covering very large numbers of willing participant families. The results of the studies were overwhelmingly consistent - that the main result of corporal punishment was to produce overt or covert rebellion.
    The United Nations has accepted the results and has declared corporal punishment as a denial of the child's human rights.
    There are alternative ways of parenting which do not involve any form of punishment. If you are interested, try looking up Parent Effectiveness Training. Long-term studies have proven that the techniques working by inspiring a child's willing cooperation. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at October 2, 2016 8:37 AM MDT
      October 2, 2016 8:33 AM MDT
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  • 1326
    Children need to know the importance of respecting their elders. it's the parents' responsibility to instill values in their children. at times it has to include spanking to correct erroneous behavior, when all else fails. 
      November 1, 2016 11:20 PM MDT
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  • 5
    I spank my daughters and will all the time it's needed. It gets instant results and angels. 
      August 13, 2017 1:36 AM MDT
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