Both humor and seriousness welcome: If there are five stages of grief, what are the five stages of quarantine?

1: Setting personal goals to accomplish with free time (optimism)  

2: Give up on personal goals (depression) 

3: Eating coconut pie at 1am while sitting on the  kitchen floor. (Grief or Maybe acceptance, not sure) 

4: Binging Netflix (depression) 

5: Completing Netflix (VICTORY) 

- Panic (the world is coming to quick, get the toilet paper!)

- Amusement (kind of nice not having to go to work every day)

- Reality (how do you cook toilet paper?)

- Exasperation (they do NOT pay teachers enough!)

- Acceptance (why is mommy sitting in the bathtub a roll of toilet paper taped over her ears and smiling?)

1 Resolve - this is no big deal, I can do this. It' for a good cause.
2, Anxiety - this is going to be hard. What if I run out of things I need?
3. Panic - I just went to buy groceries and someone without a mask touched all the bananas... if I eat them, I will die!
4. Resignation - I guess this is how it's going to be for a while, it's hard, but I'm going to be fine...eventually.
5. Apathy - I really don't care if it ever ends; I'm just going to stay in my pajamas for the duration.

1. Authorities (teams of people trained by epidemiologists) track and identify people at risk due to known contact with infected person, or recent arrival from an area where infections are prevalent.
Techniques used:
- taking temperatures at drop-in clinics, where people enter public buildings and where homeless people congregate.
- tests available everywhere and free to anyone with any symptoms, three types:                                                  nasal swab 15 mins, nasal swap 1 hour, and blood test 24 hours.
- teams take temperatures & test at airports, seaports, marinas & border crossings 

2. Requests and requirements for two weeks isolation:
- At all stages, compassionate leave granted for people with sick dependents.
- people who test negative but coming from contact with infected person or area requested to self isolate in their own homes.
Exceptions: a very old or immunocompromised family member lives at home,
or a person who works on the front line with known or possibly infected people
- People in these categories are given free accomodation in hotels & motels.
- people who test positive are required by law on pain of heavy fine (relative to means) to                            self-isolate at home, including keeping social distance from family members or                                            cohabitants. Requirement to accept a location-tracing app. on mobile/cell phone                                          and to keep phone on at times; automatic monitoring sets of alarms for movement                                       outside defined area or phone switched off. For those without mobiles, the loan of                                         an bracelet or anklet tracker. Assessment of attitude; those deemed likely to be at                                       risk of non-cooperation have a bracelet or anklet locked on.

3. Monitoring and back-up support for all people in voluntary or mandatory quarantine for two weeks until clear. Food and necessities delivered by family or support teams. Those in isolation ring their team once daily at a pre-arranged time, to say that they're OK or feeling symptoms. Voluntary shifts to mandatory if symptoms arise; team member arrives at home to test. For those who become seriously sick, and ambulance arrives to take them to hospital.

4. Closures, restrictions on movement, and social distancing.
AStatewide borders closed with the exception of emergency service workers, essential workers, and compassionate grounds. All air, river, lake and seaports closed.
Public transport shuts down with the exception of taxis. Fares paid for poor or disabled in dire need.
Within each state, people asked to self-isolate as much as possible,
work is performed online as much as possible,
all non-essential businesses closed, includes financial support for people who have been stood down,
schools closed with the exception of children of emergency and essential workers,
study at all levels is conducted online within homes
only essential outings to buy food and basics or for outdoor exercise permitted.
Old people's homes closed to relatives, with the exception of palliative residents and with strict PPE's.
Families daily kept informed about well-being of elders.
Family members not permitted to visit hospitals unless relative is palliative and with strict PPE's & distance.
No more then two people permitted to meet in any place outside the home.
Where physical presence is not necessary,medical and psychological appointments available by telephone, Zoom and Skype.
Social distancing of 6 feet or 1.8 metres required in all places outside the home.
Social distancing from at risk or infected person required within the home.
Essential businesses provide physical markers and hand sanitisers.

5. Four to five stages of release from lockdown.
Each stage begins when the number of new cases in a state has remained below 1 for one month.
During all stages, any person with symptoms must get tested and self isolate for a fortnight with no penalty from bosses. Compassionate leave granted for people with sick dependents.
All stages revert previous stage begins if there is a sudden spike; exception if the outbreak is contained within a specific area.
- First stage: Family members allowed to visit each other's homes in small groups of up to five people; children permitted to return to school one day per week, retail shops re-open. stage begins if the number of new cases in a state remains below 1 for one month.
- Second stage: Children permitted to go to school two days per week. Hairdressers, personal grooming parlours, brothels, massage parlours, saunas, spas and gyms remain closed. People return to work wherever possible but maintain strict social distancing at work; all bosses provide structural assistance and hand sanitisers. Weddings, funerals, 12-step groups, religious rites and outdoor sports gatherings of up to ten people permitted. Close family members may visit elders in care-homes or relatives in hospitals with strict social distancing and PPE's.
- Third stage: Children return to school three days per week. Bosses continue to require social distancing for all employees. Restaurants and cafés reopen but tables including the space for chairs must be 8 feet or 2.4 metres apart. Weddings, funerals, 12-step groups, religious rites and outdoor sports gatherings of up to fifty people permitted.
- Fourth stage: Children return to school five days per week. Hairdressers, personal grooming parlours, brothels, massage parlours, saunas, spas and gyms reopen. Public transport within the state resumes. No restrictions on numbers of people meeting.
- Fifth stage dependent on state of epidemic in bordering states and overseas. State boundaries reopen when the number of new cases across the entire country has remained below 1 for one month. International borders can reopen for people coming from countries which have widespread testing and remained below 1 for one month; must include traveller's history of travel and contacts for the past three weeks.

1.  Boredom

2. More boredom

1. Life's a biotch.
2. Then you die.

1) Removal of potential destinations- Workplaces shutter; restaurants, shops, resorts and bars close. Can’t leave the country.

2) Stockpile essentials- Liquor stores remain open. Fridge and freezer filled, toilet paper megarolls stacked high.

3) Supply chain assured- confirm Amazon and Grub Hub accounts in full readiness.

4) Prepare quarantine site- Lock the gates, underfeed the dogs, check ammo, prep the grill and fuel up the boat. 

5) Radio silence -Blissful seclusion: gym shorts and flip flops. 

This post was edited by Don Barzini at May 13, 2020 8:07 AM MDT

1.  Food vs. Toilet Paper~ Realizing we all took a test without knowing.  Which did you pick first?
2.  Reality check~ Is this really happening?  A lot of pinching and philosophical questioning goes on during this stage.
3.  Emotional Searching~ The point where we search for all the emotions we actually knew we had inside and see if we can control them.
4.  Wonder~ This is open to Universal perception.
5.  Goals and Wills~ Prioritizing the time we have left and what to do if anybody we know outlives us. 


This post was edited by Merlin at May 14, 2020 1:02 AM MDT