I hear it's not really about sex, right? It's Just having opposite sex friends, right?
It’s a bit confusing what you’re asking here when you added on the part about it’s not a sex thing. I think the term “open marriage” is 100% about sex, so a non-sexual context seems to be something entirely different. Friendships with people of different genders can take place without sex being a part of it, but is the question about secretive friendships, friendships that intentionally exclude one’s spouse, something along those lines?
If my wife were to suggest or request or propose some kind of open marriage, my “feeling” would be an eerie one, as if I had woken up in some parallel universe or bizarro world where everything I knew and understood was now all topsy-turvy. She just doesn’t roll like that. I can’t even imagine it as abstract possibility, let alone remote possibility.
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When you write “It’s true”, and then give anecdotal evidence of a single instance, it ignores the fact that an opposing perspective also exists wherein an open marriage absolutely signifies a sexual connotation as its primary purpose or function. I don’t dispute that it may be true in certain instances, but those are clearly not the majority.
Even with the lone example you cite, it remains true that one of the very first things that come to mind when mentioning an open marriage is the principle model of one or both spouses giving or being given permission to seek sexual release from another person or other people outside of the bounds of the marriage.
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When "Open Marriage" appeared, some readers interpreted its choicest lines ("Sexual fidelity is the false god of closed marriage") as a license to cheat.
But on the very next page, the O'Neills seemed to back away from that provocative stance: "We are not recommending outside sex, but we are not saying that it should be avoided, either. The choice is entirely up to you."
She brought this up in 1975. Just after we were married and was trying not to loose her identity, being Mrs. Me. I have no doubt she's been a faithful wife for almost 50 years. That was the dumbest thing she has ever suggested.
“Quit” right or “Quite” right? There is a difference.
(loose lose)
As far as your last paragraph is concerned, I don’t know if it refers to these mysterious O’Neill people or to your personal experience. Overall, your entire comment is a bit disjointed and indecipherable. I don’t know what its point is, but please don’t misinterpret that to mean I am requesting any clarification or deeper explanation. I’m good with it just the way it is, really I am.
Judger.
(Just in case anyone doesn’t know, I’m merely being sarcastic.)
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Randy D 