Yes, I would think she’s hitting on me because I have clouds in my coffee.. clouds in my coffee Lol. But seriously, I would just respond with, thank you. I learned at a young age to accept compliments with a simple “thank you” . It’s one of the only good lessons my mom ever taught me.
Maybe flirting a bit, testing the waters. But it's actually very unusual for gay women to make crude approaches like that. So I would usually read the comment as a genuine expression of her aesthetic taste. Young gay women may sleep around a fair bit while they're still single. But most gay women prefer a relationship with deep emotional connection. Usually there's a period of getting to know a woman before mutually deciding what the possibilities might be.
I'd just say thank you and pay a compliment in return - anything about her that I like.
This post was edited by inky at July 12, 2020 10:43 AM MDT
I'm bi so I've been hit on by women before but with your example I would probably think she's just giving me a compliment because other women have never used that as a pick up line on me. I actually have a really hard time imagining that approach working so if I wanted to hit on another woman starting off with "You're very pretty!" is probably the last thing I'd think of saying. That's more like how thirteen year-old boys hit on women.
Anyway, let's just pretend it would actually happen this way so I can answer your question. If I were interested in her I'd escalate the conversation just a little bit to see what she says after that. It could either go into something more from there or if she was just giving me a compliment, we wouldn't have to go any further and neither of us would be embarrassed about it.
My question/description sounds hypothetical, but I actually watched it happen for real at a store a few days ago. The "pretty" lady said thanks as she was turning around to face her, but she seemed a little shocked when she saw her pride mask. And the lady with the mask seemed a little disappointed that that was all she said. Also, the (complimented) lady looked back at the girl as she was leaving the store, and the look on her face seemed she was questioning if she just got hit on or not.
I can relate to how both of them would feel. I feel bad for the girl in the rainbow mask but I also understand how the other girl feels because since I've never had a women hit on me that way it would also leave me wondering if it were just a compliment or something more.
Short answer: No, I wouldn't think I was being hit on.
Long answer: I feel like when women give a compliment, it tends to be something specific. i.e. I went out to dinner a couple weeks ago and told a woman that I loved her boots, at which point, she launched into a story about how she'd had them for years and just now found a dress to go with them. Maybe a week or two before that, I was out with friends and we were all eyeballing a woman's hair. She had natural gray hair that was super thick and went down to her waist- really gorgeous and silky. One of the women in my group broke off and went to tell her we thought her hair was gorgeous. Within minutes, she was beaming and sharing her beauty secrets with us. Back when I was in burlesque, we actually did body positivity exercises where we had to give people compliments and nothing was off limits. Because of that, I also got accustomed to hearing women (straight, gay, bi) comment on my bust or rear and, although they were giving a sort of sexual compliment, it wasn't them coming onto me. Women give compliments all the time and it often creates an instant "tribe" of sorts- in my first two examples, the compliment resulted in ongoing banter throughout the evening.
That in mind, I really don't think I'd take "you're very pretty" as a come-on from anyone. It almost sounds childish... I know my own daughter (a pre-teen) has gone around telling people they're pretty just to give them a boost. She did it at a choir concert last year- they brought all the schools together to perform from elementary through high school. She and her friend went up to all the high school girls and told them they were pretty.
You may have a better idea of what happened because you were there, but I could also argue that, maybe the girl wasn't disappointed that the woman didn't respond as if she was being hit on. Maybe the girl was just hungry for communication and was bummed the woman didn't respond like the women in my examples did or was bummed the woman reacted poorly when she saw the mask- as if the compliment was somehow diminished purely because of her sexual orientation.
At the same time, the woman may not have been questioning if she was being hit on. It really could have just been social awkwardness because "you're pretty" is really generic. What do you say to that besides "thanks?"
It's really hard to read people with masks on too...
Jaimie 