How does being sent away to boarding school or military school affect a child? Isn't it usually done to discippline? Isn't it a rejection?

IDK, but when I was a child I begged and pleaded to be sent to one.  

My brothers both went to a religious boarding school for high school because the most important thing to mom was her kids having the best Christian education.  I went to public high school.  Dad refused to send me to the Christian boarding school.  So, how does it affect children?  I still remember mom and dad arguing about it.  Dad's exact words were "**** it, they already ****ed two of my kids and they're not going to **** up the third!  Mom wasn't happy.

My dad almost never cusses but when he does you'll remember exactly what he said forever.  That was one of only two times he ever used swear words.

Anyway, when my oldest brother (actually my half brother) came back from school he brought some bad habits home with him.  He became a complete slob.  He walked around the house all day in his football jersey and his boxer shorts because apparently that was acceptable in the dorm.  He didn't do laundry either because at boarding school he was one of the popular kids and the cool kids walked around the dorm in their football jerseys and boxer shorts and never washed their clothes.

My own brother wasn't one of the cool kids there.  He was the most unpopular kid there according to their official ranking.  They kept track of unpopularity rankings and they let the unpopular kids know exactly where they stood.  They did things like breaking into his room and going to the bathroom (#2) in his clothes drawers.

My brother did have friends.  He hung out with the townies.  Towny was their word for kids that went to the public high school in the place where the boarding school was.  My brother's way of escaping the misery was hanging out in his friend's attic and smoking pot with them.

I remember the day he graduated.  We drove there to pick him up.  He was a little late for his graduation and he smelled really funny.  He was kind of in a haze because he was up late at his friends' house which he actually was never supposed to be doing.  On the drive home him and dad didn't say anything and we stopped at the restaurant we always did on the way back.  My brother sat at the table and ordered enough food too feed a small army.  Dad looked at him funny and my brother said "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"  Then dad yelled "I'll bet you are!"

Other people were looking at us and snickering.

[grammar edit]


This post was edited by Livvie at October 6, 2016 6:44 PM MDT

In the old days it was rich people and the military who sent their offspring to single sex boarding schools. As a nod to the school's charitable origins, some children of the clergy and less pecunious scholars like myself were admitted.

It made sense for the former groups who would appreciate the discipline being instilled. Being useful to the school's academic reputation I was well enough treated.  


My granddad feared that it was a coping strategy by my mother, as he had fallen ill with prostrate cancer and she was having to look after him.

As for the present day situation, where single sex education is no longer in fashion, you'd have to get the current  generation to respond. To judge by a recent visit back, they do seem to be thriving.

It depends on the situation.  There are some kids that need the extra structure and discipline.  It's not something any parent should do lightly and of course the program has to fit the needs of the child.

It depends on the reason.  My two cousins wanted  to go to military school and became honor students.  They went to a military high school academy.  They also are millionaires today.   No joke.

Now you are asking?  I just read your declaration that military school is for problem kids.   http://www.answermug.com/forums/topic/11140/being-sent-to-miliitary-school-quot-to-be-straightenend-out-quo/view/post_id/83638. In fact, you asked why else would they be put into military schools.   Like so many subjects, this is something you aren't familiar with.  Military school is a tradition in many families.  Military school is often helpful for boys who are timid, small, and/or weak as well as for boys who are the opposites.  Boys with particularly strong wills OR who have trouble with public school for a number of reasons might be put into military school. And then there are boys who just want to to go.    I know lots of men who went to military schools.  They are all successful, strong, and disciplined.  My brother in law went to such a school; my MIL told me he had a very high IQ and just could not get along in public school atmosphere.  She said it was the best decision she ever made as a mother.  He now lives in a multi-million-dollar cottage on the outer banks.......very happy and successful. 

There are always some parents who "send" their kids to boarding school as much for themselves as for their children.  They are the minority.   In those cases the children may very well be better off. 

My mother and her twin sister were sent away to a boarding school.  My mother felt rejected and brought it up repeatedly even late in life.  My aunt loved the freedom which she abused and didn't feel rejected.