What’s the silliest thing you ever got punished for as a child, especially looking at it in retrospect with adult eyes? ~

     My step mom would always accuse me of stealing
her jewelry and playing in the sand box onside.
I was 10 or 11...
I have no memories of me taking her jewelry,
but yet she would switch my legs constantly.
( a long stem from the Hedges)
Then step dad would use a razor strap to the palm of my hands 
for punishment that i didn't do.
Yikes
glad that wasn't a forever thing.

Almost everything.  That's all I want to say.

Like the others, I have lots of stories where I didn't do anything wrong at all and got punished. Sometimes, just being in the room was a problem.  That said, there are two major events where I did do something that got me in trouble.

The first was breathing. Yes. I did it too loudly and often with my mouth open. What my parents apparently failed to realize is that I was doing it because I had allergies and couldn't breathe. It wasn't until I went to the doctor as an adult that I learned it was not normal to have trouble breathing or to constantly have a stuffy nose, and that the dark circles under my eyes (present throughout childhood) were often referred to as "allergic shiners." Yup. I was punished for having an untreated medical condition. Usually sent to my room for breathing but sometimes sent to a corner or spanked. 

The second, and I remember this much more vividly, happened on a trip to Disney World. We took the family minivan from Wisconsin to Florida when I was six or seven. There were seven of us back then- my four siblings and I shared a hotel room and my parents took the adjoining one. Prior to departure, I was cautioned that I was only permitted to take one stuffed animal. Of course, being responsible for packing at that age, I disregarded my father's instructions and slipped a couple extra in my bag. He caught sight of them on my bed a couple days in and ripped into me. He was mad and I knew I should have backed off, but, perhaps feeling courageous because my siblings were looking on or because we were in a hotel, I pressed on further and asked why I couldn't have more than one. Seething at this point, he said something about how it would be a hassle for the maids or they might get lost. Well, that made sense, but then I foolishly asked why I couldn't just safely keep them in my bag when not in use. I got the stereotypical "Because I said so" response, at which point, I muttered under my breath, "I'll never understand this world." At that point, he outright challenged me. Eyes boring into my soul, he growled, "Say that again."

I did, but louder this time. I could hear every last one of my siblings inhale sharply in unison. Before I even knew what was happening, he lunged forward, yanked me by the arm so he had access to my backside, and began smacking me. "Here's something to help you understand it better," he said. They weren't spankings. He was ripping my arm out of its socket while he smacked any part of me he could reach as hard as he could. I have no idea how long the beating went on for. When he was done, he wordlessly left the room and my oldest sister came and comforted me... sort of. She was probably ten then, so it was more like a hug while I was sobbing and then, when I finally calmed, admonishments for speaking when I shouldn't have. I don't remember anything about Disney World. I have no idea what we did or saw in the park. I don't remember the beach we went to either. But, I remember that beating. And, 30+ years later, I still don't understand the world, but I'll be damned if anyone's going to stop me from questioning it. -_-

In first grade my teacher sent to the principal's office because I shared with her a new joke I heard that I thought was really funny:


"Milk  milk"    (pointing to my pecs)

"Lemonade"    (pointing to my penis)

"Round the corner fudge is made"    (pointing to my rear end)


My parents were called.


They both found the whole thing pretty funny and they laughed about it in the car when they were taking me home.