I just received a call with the following recording:
"This is a test call. The time to stay home is now. Stay home and stay safe . This was a test call."
I get that one also. They keep calling, so instead of just ignoring the calls or hanging up or selecting the supposed “take my number off of the list” button which never works anyway, I answered recently and waited for the live person.
“What is the make, model and year of your vehicle, please?”
”You should be able to tell me all of that, because your recording said that according to your records, my warranty is on file with you.”
”Er, um, on our end, only the vehicles’ warranties show up, not specific owners’ information.”
”Well, if you have the warranty information for my car, then it shows the year, make and model of the vehicle associated with me.”
”Oh. Well, just to verify, can you please tell me when your warranty expires?”
”What warranty? I haven’t bought a new car in more than 25 years, I don’t get warranties, I don’t even have one.”
”But our records show . . . “
”Do your records show that these calls have been made to my number for six or eight weeks and I either press the selection to refuse or to have my number taken off your list?”
”I can reflect that today if you like.”
”How long will it take to stop receiving your automated calls?”
”I’m not sure, that’s handled by a different section. About six to eight weeks, I think.”
“Hello?”
“Randy, hi! How are you?”
“Do I know you?”
“Hi, no, you don’t know me, my name is Bethany, how are you today?”
“Bethany? Bethany who? I don’t know any Bethany.”
“You are Randy (last name) who lives at (full address), right?”
“So you have all this information about me, you know my last name, yet you address me by my first name, is that it?”
“Oh, would you prefer that I use your last name instead? I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Gee, let’s see. You call a married man at his home and you address him by his first name in a familiar and friendly way that makes it seem as if the two of you know each other. That’s disrespectful. If my wife is listening, then I have to explain who this strange woman is.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. (last name).”
“Well, I don’t have to ask where or how you got all of my personal information, this is obviously a telemarketing cold call, so what do you want?”
“This is the assistance line for getting you the social security disability benefits that are owed to you.”
“Thanks, but I’m not disabled.”
“Millions of disabled Americans are going without their benefits either because they don’t even know of the benefits that they deserve or because they don’t know how to file for the benefits.”
“That’s fine, but it doesn’t have anything to do with me because I’m not disabled.”
“But sir, if you’re missing out on hundreds of dollars a month or even thousands of dollars a year, wouldn’t you want to take advantage of what’s rightfully yours?”
“How could it be rightfully mine if I’m not disabled?”
“What we do here is file the appropriate disability benefits paperwork with the Social Security Administration on your behalf to ensure that you receive a monthly disability check.”
“A monthly disability check for a person who is not disabled, right?”
“Our records indicate that you attempted to file but were denied.”
“Your records are wrong. I’ve never filed for any type of disability because like I’ve said, I’m not disabled.”
“We offer a service of re-filing your application for you and we guarantee that it will be approved the second time.”
“Re-filing a disability benefits application that has never been filed before to get disability benefits for a person who is not disabled and is not seeking the benefit. Your records are incorrect.”
“The process is simple because we do everything for you.”
“I suppose it’s done out of the kindness of your hearts too, right?”
“Well, no sir. There is a processing fee that we ask for up front.”
“Here it comes.”
“And once your payment in full is received, a case counselor will be assigned to you to personally guide you along the way. The counselor will deal directly with the Social Security Administration so that you won’t have to.”
“Of course!”
“Then, once your disability benefits have been approved, our office will receive them every month and forward your check to you.”
“Wait, why aren’t the checks sent straight to the recipients?”
“Our office also handles the monthly check processing to keep you from dealing with the hassle, and after deducting the monthly service fee, the rest is sent to you.”
“That doesn’t sound at all suspicious.”
“Your previous denial of disability benefits could have just been a clerical error on your part with the filing, which is not unusual due to the complexity of government-related paperwork. Our office has experts with many years of experience and that’s how we can guarantee approval after we re-file your application.”
“The denial of the application that I’ve never filed.”
“Please don’t be one of the hundreds of thousands of disabled Americans who are missing out.”
“A minute ago, you said there were millions of disabled Americans who are missing out.”
“Oops, I must have lost my place. Let me start all over.”
“Please don’t.”
“Randy, hi, how are you? Oops, I mean Mr. (last name). This is the assistance line for getting you the social security disability benefits that are owed to you.”
“You realize I’m not disabled, don’t you?”
“But our records show that you are, sir. That’s why your name is on my call list.”
”My name is on your call list because it was sold by one organization and bought by yours.”
”We can accept your credit card payment right now over the phone.”
“What do your records indicate about the scads of people who are not disabled yet illegally receive millions of dollars from the Social Security Administration for disability benefits every month?”
“Does that really happen?”
“Yes, and one way they do it is through scam organizations that file fraudulent claims for them. Sound familiar?”
”I don’t know, I just started here yesterday, and they told me to read this script.”
”I’m sure your records don’t indicate that filing documents such as this is completely free, do they?”
”It is?”
”You’re a pawn in a scam game, Bethany.”
”My real mane is Yvette. Bethany is just the name on the script.”
“Delete my information from their call list, Yvette, and then get out of there. That place is a den of thieves, and when it gets raided by the authorities, people like you are the only ones who will be left to face the music. The bigwigs will be out the back door with briefcases stuffed with cash.”
”So you don’t want the disability benefits that are owed to you, sir?”
”Say goodnight, Yvette.”
”Goodnight, Yvette.”
Please don’t be one of the hundreds of thousands of disabled Americans who are missing out.”
“A minute ago, you said there were millions of disabled Americans who are missing out.
I don't understand the sequence of logic.
My office got held up by police taking names and numbers. We won. Unbridled capitalism has catches and to infringe on my Democratic right to call you is against my principles. People love to talk and if they can sit down and do it ..it's a marriage of convenience.
Lol! She had a one-track mind, I guess.
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Take at least three rolls of quarters with you to get the most out of it.
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SpunkySenior 