Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Does asking someone to "go out" with you mean a date?
Benedict Arnold

Does asking someone to "go out" with you mean a date?

My former friend/crush from years ago sent me a friend request on Facebook. I accepted and sent him message basically saying hello, and that I hope he’s doing well despite the insanity of 2020. He said it was nice to hear from me, and that “things are a little topsy turvy, but it’s just been working out, mind, body, and spirit lately.”
He then proceeded to say, “be nice to maybe go out sometime if you’re comfortable, be good to hear what you’re up to.”
I told him when I’m usually free, and he replied that he was working some stuff out so if not this weekend, next weekend. I said to just let me know, and he said “You got it” with the explosion emoji.

If it matters, he knows I liked him (I told him back then), but he didn’t reciprocate. So I’m not assuming anything from this beyond platonic but, it’s always been my understanding that asking somebody to “go out” suggested romantic intent. But apparently it doesn’t always have to.

Posted - October 11, 2020
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Responses


  • 339
    I think it means they want to ravage your body.

    But you may be more, or less lucky than I am 
      October 11, 2020 11:53 AM MDT
    4

  • 44617
    All men are the same...booty call. Except for me, of course. I am a gentleman at all times. 
      October 11, 2020 1:21 PM MDT
    4

  • 53509

     

      You’re right: he wants sex. Even if it doesn’t happen at or just after the first get/ together get-together, his eventual goal is mutual horizontalism. (Yes, I know it’s not a real word.)

    ~

    This post was edited by Randy D at October 12, 2020 5:55 AM MDT
      October 11, 2020 10:56 PM MDT
    1

  • 339
    ...But it's definitely a thing 
      October 11, 2020 11:04 PM MDT
    1

  • 19937
    Old-fashioned Boomer me would say that asking someone to "go out" would mean a date - not necessarily a romantic interlude, but a date, nevertheless.  Today's generation may define the phrase differently.  If I were in your position, I would interpret it as "let's get together and catch up."
      October 11, 2020 12:58 PM MDT
    3

  • 5808
      October 11, 2020 3:15 PM MDT
    2

  • 53509

     

      Be wise, Wise Virgo, and understand this simple concept about the vast differences between the ways that women think and the ways that men think: on average, guys don’t consider women for friendships, guys consider women for either immediate or eventual sex partners. You mentioned romantic intent. Men don’t develop romantic intent as a first option or most important option, that’s more of a woman’s perspective.  There’s nothing wrong with women thinking that way, it just becomes a problem when women expect men to think that way also or assume that men think that way also.
      I don’t know your age or background, your experiences with men and/or relationships, nor do I even know this guy personally.  I’m giving you a general thumbnail sketch here based on your open question requesting feedback/opinions. If you’re open to his advances, fine, just be clear that he may want more than you do, less than you do, or something completely different from what you want.
      Lastly, the best source of information about his mindset is by speaking with him.  All we here at this website can do is guess.


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      October 11, 2020 11:19 PM MDT
    1