What’s your towel doing here?

To: RLI
Re: Missing punctuation

Dear sirs: 

Your company was highly recommended by many of my friends.  That is why I chose you for taking care of my current needs.  To ensure that there will be enough punctuation for future generations, I'm starting to use pre-owned punctuation (recycle/reuse).  Since I have no idea where the punctuation marks were used last, I thought it best to have them professionally cleaned before reusing them.  For all I know they could have been used on some very nasty sentences.  I’m sure no one wants their children looking at smutty punctuation marks.

Since punctuation marks are quite small, I carefully wrapped the ones I had in a towel (the one I brought to your company) so they wouldn’t fall out and end up homeless on the streets.  After all, the streets are no place for punctuation marks.  I’ve seen what street life can do to punctuation and it isn’t pretty.  Why, I’ve seen exclamation marks so strung out on drugs that one couldn’t tell them apart from a question mark.  Anyway, as I was writing I ran out of periods.  All I had left were the pre-owned ones.  So you see, the missing mark was actually inside the towel.

I'm sorry for any misunderstanding.

I would very much like to continue using RLI for my laundering needs.  I just purchased a bag of pre-owned exclamation marks, and I would like to have them professionally laundered.  Odds are that most of them (if not all) were last used in a rather, shall we say, "fervent" manner... if you know what I mean.

Sincerely,

Shuhak