[This is the 911 Dispatcher, what is your emergency, please?]
[My name is Randy D Randolph, but please don’t write that down; I want this to be an anonymous call.]
[Sir, if you want it to be anonymous, you don’t say your name.]
[That‘s not important right now, I need the police department to send a couple of officers to investigate a suspicious person.]
[Let me guess, you’re turning yourself in, is that it?]
[Very funny, you should have your own radio show so that I can turn it off whenever I want to. No, I’m calling to report this Shuhak guy, he’s got some kind of torture chamber going on over at his place.]
[And how recently did you escape from it, sir?]
[There you go again, is that what they pay you to do?]
[Shuhak doesn’t even sound like a real name, is this a prank call?]
[I bet he has victims stashed in there right now! Send someone quickly!]
[Theres no way he could squeeze just one more on there, you, perhaps?]
[I didn’t call here for all this abuse!]
[Where do you usually call to be abused? I may know someone who can take over.]
[I wonder if there’s a reward. Go ahead and take my name so a brutha can get paid.]
[listen, pal, I get off duty in three minutes, how about if we pretend you haven’t called yet, we both hang up, and then you call right back in five minutes?]
[Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.]
[Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.]
~
[Can you please have those officers hurry, 911? This Shuhak guy is already forming an alibi, albeit a weak one. I can hear screaming coming from over there.]
[You’re still on the line? Hang up already!]
~
Folks, I believe that I have just found my new defense attorney. All calls and messages, especially summons, lawsuits, criminal complaints, subpoenas and other such court filings, must all be forwarded to her secretarial staff. No comment.
~
Hey, that’s just plain crazy talk! Those sandwiches aren’t going to make themselves, you know! Grrrrrrr.
~