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Discussion » Questions » Religion and Spirituality » You don’t believe the rumors circulating about a sandwich cult in CA, do you? Promises of sunshine, sea lions and ground-level lodging, all

You don’t believe the rumors circulating about a sandwich cult in CA, do you? Promises of sunshine, sea lions and ground-level lodging, all

free to the first devotees who pass the rigorous screening process. Meetings to peruse the contract will be held in private on a one-on-one basis with The Leader.  Please avert your eyes, the cameras installed in your residence and on your computer device are sending a feed of every move you make.  You haven’t yet earned the right to look directly at these words, so use a hand mirror and read them that way.

[Contrary to common assumptions and misconceptions, the presence of an attorney at the “negotiations” is neither necessary nor prudent. This is a completely reputable organization with which you’ll be dealing. Please don’t inform any family members or friends of your travel plans, and a substantial chunk, 94% or more is STRONGLY suggested, of your life savings will be used to gauge the seriousness of your level of faith. Knowledge in the care and handling of tildes is helpful, but if you don’t possess it, it can be beaten into you. Full-body searches will be conducted to ensure no smuggling of Vegemite, beets, poor grammar, okra, avocados, or mayonnaise into the secure facility.]

Posted - April 28

Responses


  • 37046
    What would happen if I brought a sandwich with avocado, Vegemite and mayonnaise on marbled rye bread to the interview?
      April 28, 2021 7:00 PM MDT
    2

  • 43351

     

      Er, um, you might be disappointed to learn that you don’t even meet the first and foremost prerequisite. Application. . .


      April 28, 2021 7:06 PM MDT
    2

  • 6866
    Hehehe. You do make me laugh!

    I'll smuggle okra AND mayo. See, Randy D? It's not meant to be. 
      April 28, 2021 8:01 PM MDT
    1

  • 43351


      Hey, wait a second! Exactly where might you hide them? Grrrrrrr. 

    :[

      April 28, 2021 8:57 PM MDT
    1

  • 12610
    I believe it, but I'm not interested. My boobs aren't perky enough.
      April 29, 2021 6:31 PM MDT
    2

  • 43351

     

      Lift and separate! Lift and separate! Lift and separate! Lift and separate! Lift and separate! Lift and separate!
    ~

      April 29, 2021 9:12 PM MDT
    0