Active Now

Malizz
Element 99
Discussion » Questions » Religion and Spirituality » Why won't the Jesus answer my prayers?
Mr. Bromide

Why won't the Jesus answer my prayers?

Posted - June 28, 2021
Tags : None

Responses


  • 581
    To busy coming up with Knock Knock Jokes.
      June 28, 2021 2:16 PM MDT
    2

  • 11151
    Knock knock. 
    Who's there? 
    Jesus. 
    Jesus who? 
    Jesus Christ I just hit my thumb with a hammer.  
    Cheers! This post was edited by Nanoose at June 29, 2021 8:56 PM MDT
      June 28, 2021 2:30 PM MDT
    4

  • 5451
    lol

    This isn’t a knock-knock joke, but when Jesus was a kid, he was awoken one night by Mary yelling for him.

    Little Jesus jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen where Mary was standing.  What is it, mom?, Jesus asked.

    It’s nothing, Jesus.  Go back to bed.  I just smashed my little toe on the table leg when I got up to get a drink. This post was edited by Livvie at June 29, 2021 9:34 PM MDT
      June 29, 2021 9:01 PM MDT
    1

  • 3024
    Perhaps the answer is "NO," whatever it is would not be good for you.  
      June 28, 2021 2:21 PM MDT
    2

  • 11151
    I think you have to offer the Jesus a Cool Water sandwich on a Sunday go to meeting bun - that worked for the Blues Brothers anway. Cheers!
      June 28, 2021 2:22 PM MDT
    2

  • 6023
    Because you aren't in his service district.
    Please contact the appropriate deity for your district.
      June 28, 2021 2:49 PM MDT
    4

  • 19937
    Because he's busy turning water into Merlot.
      June 28, 2021 3:09 PM MDT
    3

  • 44649
    I thought it was Mogen David.
      June 28, 2021 3:19 PM MDT
    4

  • 19937
    Right you are. :)
      June 28, 2021 6:10 PM MDT
    2

  • 492
    Merlot is my favorite. Where's the bar?

      June 28, 2021 7:13 PM MDT
    4

  • 1633
    Beacause the rich and beautiful people come first!  Be patient, he'll get to you eventually... maybe!
      June 28, 2021 5:48 PM MDT
    4

  • 7795
    Because there is no Jesus.
      June 28, 2021 5:59 PM MDT
    3

  • 492
    You're right. There's no George Washington, either. 

      June 28, 2021 7:16 PM MDT
    2

  • 13395
    Try this experiment; lay your arm out on the table then use your voice to tell your arm to rise above your head. So when  It doesn't work, then use your mind to order your arm to rise above your head. That will work.
    Same way with Jesus; use your mind/meditative thought to communicate with him instead of verbally. This post was edited by Kittigate at June 29, 2021 9:05 PM MDT
      June 28, 2021 6:33 PM MDT
    2

  • 44649
    Orally sounds creepy. Go with verbally.
      June 29, 2021 8:47 AM MDT
    2

  • 13395
    Ok.
      June 29, 2021 8:51 AM MDT
    2

  • 11087
    Have you checked your Spam folder? He may not be in your Contacts list.
      June 29, 2021 7:49 PM MDT
    3