At what age did you "come into your own" and stop trying to please your parents? At what age did you KNOW it's you who needs to be pleased?

  I came into my own when at 18 years old. When I got my first full-time job and bought my first car. Which pleased my parents and admittedly was pleased with myself. It was at that time though that I stopped trying to please my parents as a young child would try to do. However, for the rest of their lives, I continued to show them the honor and respect they deserved. Would that qualify as pleasing my parents? I don't know.

That would be middle school ... 6th grade.
Our family moved and I didn't know anybody, and when I started school I had to put up with a bunch of bullying ... so I learned the only person to worry about pleasing was myself.

I still respected my parents - but didn't worry about if I was pleasing them, or not.
Of course, by that time, they had instilled the ethics I acted upon - so I seldom displeased them.

I don’t know if I ever tried pleasing my parents in the first place.  My dad didn’t need to be pleased.  All of his rules made sense so I didn’t run afoul of Dad very much, but when I did, he let me know it.  My mom was impossible to please so I never really tried all that hard.  I’d have to be someone else completely to please her.

If a parent thinks everything’s about them, there’s really no use in trying to please them.  With my own kids, we have hard boundaries, such as anything that would hurt them or someone else, but making stupid rules and then having our kids be compliant with rules that don’t make sense is neither my goal nor my husband’s goal.

No father to please. I can't recall trying to please my mother.