[~]
The skirt-chasing persona I present on these pages, flirting with each and every woman who happens along, the completely non-existent “Harem”, the falsehood of the sub-basement dungeon full of sequestered women forced to make sandwiches for me day and night, the sleazy motel rooms for the occasional clandestine extramarital rendezvous, ducking the restraining orders, spying into bedroom windows with binoculars, stalking a woman who rejects me, having a slew of women in numerous cities around the globe, making lewd and lascivious suggestions to lure women into compromising situations, etc., all of this is nothing more than fakery and imagination. None of it is real or reflects a semblance of reality, it’s just silliness disguised as joking around. Those who play along with me and also joke about are the ones who understand that I’m not actively or actually trying to lay the entire female population of the world, nor even a portion thereof. I am not putting a ring on any woman’s finger, that would be bigamy, as I am already married, and I am not looking for a replacement, substitute, surrogate, sideline, nothing at all. There will be no rings on any fingers from me.
Wait, Ansley! You weren’t supposed to read that! I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, I wasn’t myself! You have to understand that I had to say those things, that’s what is expected in a situation like this one, it’s practically obligatory! If you’re even remotely considering changing your mind about a nocturnal kanoodling session, the invitation is still wide open! I don’t want to ruin my chances with you! Please pretend that you never read this, or better yet, pretend that I never wrote it! Hold on, what’s this, what’s going on, and why are you talking to my wife? What could the two of you have to discuss? No, this can’t be happening! This is a nightmare, don’t say a word to her, just walk away! Walk away, why don’t you? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
:(
~
I’ve been practicing.
~
Ok, that’s good to know, then we both can keep the script rolling! Deal?
~
LOL, sold!
You’re a great saleswoman, you knew exactly the right words to seal the deal! I’ll take two of them; one for the front yard and the other for the sun deck!
~
Professor, pay the woman! (Take it out of petty cash.)
~