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Discussion » Questions » answerMug Members » If you were to commission Randy D to make announcements about you, what would be the topic(s)? Humorous answers appreciated.
Randy D

If you were to commission Randy D to make announcements about you, what would be the topic(s)? Humorous answers appreciated.

 

 


 

 

[~]

Posted - November 9, 2021
Tags : None

Responses


  • 10052
    My imagination is on a break. Remind me to come back to this, will ya? 

      November 9, 2021 8:52 PM MST
    2

  • 53504

    Grrrrrrr. Be careful, that’s how people end up being dead to me. 

    :|

      November 9, 2021 8:55 PM MST
    2

  • 10052
    Wait, I was already dead to you once, remember? I think it had something to do with mayo. 

    I'm going to follow my imagination to sleep. Goodnight. 


      November 9, 2021 8:58 PM MST
    2

  • 53504

     

      Just so you don’t dream of mayo or avocados, there’s still hope.


    ~

      November 9, 2021 9:00 PM MST
    2

  • 10052
    I'd rather not. 

    I'm guessing you don't allow your "sandwich-makers" to do the mayonnaise deep conditioning hair treatment, do you? 

    :)
      November 12, 2021 2:12 PM MST
    1

  • 53504

     

      You’re right. No mayonnaise connections are permitted anywhere around me. You know how it goes, “the mere appearance of evil” and all that sort of thing. 

    ~

      November 12, 2021 2:32 PM MST
    1

  • 13395
    You can make a big announcement that I, Kittigate am proceeding with a lawsuit against a certain Randolph D of Answermug in that he willfully neglected to award me with a 'like' for providing the question that he replied to on 23 June 2016. The amount I am seeking for damages is just a mere $2,300,000 for all the resulting consternation and disgruntlement it it caused for me for some period of time afterwards.
      November 9, 2021 11:46 PM MST
    3

  • 53504

     

      Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Kittigate, hold the phone there, Pal. A lawsuit of over two million dollars? I’m sure it was mere oversight on my part, just looking at the date, that’s when I was going through my blue period. The Avocado Cartel was making inroads to Randall Arms & Estates, trying to sneak their cargo into the pantry. I’m sure we can avoid the ugliness of an embarrassing trial and all those reporters and photographers. Why don’t you meet me for lunch and we’ll discuss this like friends? (Cough, cough.)



    ~

      November 10, 2021 6:06 AM MST
    2

  • 13395
    All right. Lunch at Troll's fabulous fish and chips restaurant in English Bay. You are buying.

    Just to make things easier for you I might take payment in the form of Canadian Tire money.
      November 10, 2021 8:17 AM MST
    3

  • 53504

     

      (Comma after “Kittigate”.)

     The offer of a bribe is hereby and irrevocably withdrawn! I don’t cut deals with typo-criminals! Grrrrrrr. 

      November 10, 2021 6:09 AM MST
    2

  • 13395
    Wait a minute... I'll settle for a hundred pounds of potatoes.

    ... And throw in a fish or two.

    Come on over and I'll make us a good fish and chip dinner. This post was edited by Kittigate at November 11, 2021 8:21 PM MST
      November 10, 2021 8:19 AM MST
    2

  • 53504

     

       *The following is the text of an email message sent to Kittigate from the office of his Chief of Staff:

      “Mr. K., sir, a courier from Randolph Alagamated Incorporated Worldwide Industries Unlimited dropped off some potatoes this afternoon and we’ve placed them on your desk. Please don’t fire me, sir; I’m just doing my job.”


    ~

      November 10, 2021 4:33 PM MST
    3

  • 13395
    Dear Mr Chief of Staff: what am I supposed to do with these? They look a bit too thin to peel..  How about taking them back and.. well, never mind..
      November 10, 2021 5:44 PM MST
    3

  • 10052
    Hear Ye, Hear Ye! 

    Let it be known that Savannah Ann Slee (aka SavvyAnsley), while admitting to having a natural affinity for proper spelling and grammar,  renounces any affiliation with AMGC, Inc., (AnswerMug Grammar Cops, Incorporated) and affirms that she will only correct the errors of Randy D and Stu Spelling Bee now and forever more. In the event they hire additional associates, they will also be fair game. 

    Edit: Thankful that I corrected 2 errors before caught by the AMGC! Whew!  This post was edited by SavvyAnsley at November 13, 2021 1:00 AM MST
      November 12, 2021 1:54 PM MST
    2

  • 53504

     

      

      Nice try. 

      The AMGC, Inc. SOP codifies in Chapter IV, Section 206, Page 36, Paragraph d, lines five through nine* clearly state that due to your consensual nocturnal liaisons with Detective Lieutenant Randall “Ran-Ran” D Randolph render your social status to that of quasi domestic partner of aforementioned sworn officer, which in turn prohibits you from speaking out against him in any way and/or from ever testifying against him in any legal proceedings. You probably thought your sordid affair and clumsy groping was all fun and games, but there are serious statutory ramifications of it. 

    *Colloquially known in department lockerroom jargon as the ‘Conjugal Concubine Clause’.


    ~

      November 13, 2021 1:06 AM MST
    0

  • 10052
    I'm calling my attorney! 

    Slander and restraining order - stat! 
      November 13, 2021 1:12 AM MST
    1

  • 53504

     

      You’re talking to the guy who has had so much experience fighting attorneys and restraining orders that he now eats them for breakfast. 


    ~

      November 13, 2021 1:18 AM MST
    0

  • 16763
    Ladies and gentlemen, coming up is a man who really needs no introduction. That connoisseur of Vegemite and beer, the King of Puns ...
      November 13, 2021 2:42 AM MST
    0