~
“Sir, allow me to direct your attention to this ‘specially produced’ Vegemite made in America, San Diego to be precise, and it contains nothing other than peanut butter. I vouch for it personally; I am intimately aware of the manufacturing process because it’s a homespun operation that takes place in a sub-basement facility that I run staffed by captives volunteers. Shall I put you down for several jars, or a few cases so that you’ll be sure not to run out of it for quite some time in the future?”
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He’s quite adept at talking you down from the tower on the whole mayo question. It’s similar to an intervention counseling session or a deprogrammer culling you from the cult’s herd or a Miracle Whip Whisperer turning you from the Dark Side. You’ll thank him later.
~
Like any upscale sommelier, Randolph the sammelier will assist you in the best choices the establishment has to offer.
~
Slartibartfast 