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Discussion » Questions » Death and Dying » When a relative recently died, I was notified by a text reading, "She passed away peacefully."

When a relative recently died, I was notified by a text reading, "She passed away peacefully."

Unless the death is caused by violence, does anyone not pass away peacefully?

Posted - July 20, 2022

Responses


  • 10053
    Some people fight it till the end and don't seem to achieve acceptance/peace. 

    Extremely tough to watch. 
      July 20, 2022 6:58 PM MDT
    4

  • 2964
    Yes, it can happen.  One of my best friends had liver cancer and decided not to have treatment.  I spent 4 days with shortly before she died.  She had horrible pain every single day, tried to not take too much pain medication so she wood would not build up a tolerance, to be able to get relief at the end.  As it turned out her liver exploded She was in screaming pain until the doctor arrived, he gave her a suppository and that was it.  She suffered terribly. 


    This post was edited by Honey Dew at November 27, 2022 8:03 PM MST
      July 20, 2022 7:00 PM MDT
    3

  • 13261
    wood would 
      July 20, 2022 7:17 PM MDT
    0

  • 52993

     

     She wanted to die?
    :(

      November 27, 2022 7:17 PM MST
    3

  • 2964
    Not at all but had stage 4 liver cancer.  The treatment would have been awful and she still would have suffered and died anyway. She decided to just get it over with.  Had a spiritual awakening and was resigned to her fate. She planned her funeral down to what she was going to wear, holding her little bible open to her favorite scripture. 
    She taught me how to get my affairs in order for myself, which I have just completed. Now it is done and I don't have to think about it anymore.  My Dad was a year older than I am now when he passed, my uncle was 2 years older than I am now.  It was one of the last things small things I could do for my family. When I pass my son will know just what to do.  I hope I'll last a long time but time marches on and who knows when It will be.  I don't know enough people in one place to have a funeral, they are  scattered all over the U.S. from California to Massachusetts so there is no point. Not sure anyone would want to come anyway, all but one of my close friends have already passed.















    This post was edited by Honey Dew at November 28, 2022 6:13 AM MST
      November 28, 2022 12:21 AM MST
    2

  • 13261
    That's why we have Zoom.
      November 28, 2022 4:38 AM MST
    1

  • 2964
    Good idea.  I do think a good Obituary is important for future generations, who might be following the bread crumbs for information.  It is a good opportunity to share things many people who knew the person didn't even know.  Insight in their heritage. 
    I thank my friend for showing me how to be comfortable talking about such a hard subject. 

    This post was edited by Honey Dew at November 28, 2022 8:05 AM MST
      November 28, 2022 5:39 AM MST
    2

  • 13261
    I was talking about making the funeral available for people to watch on Zoom.
      November 28, 2022 8:06 AM MST
    1

  • 2964
    I responded it is a good idea, I had not thought of it. I also shared an additional thought I felt important.   This post was edited by Honey Dew at November 28, 2022 9:51 AM MST
      November 28, 2022 8:37 AM MST
    2

  • 10052
    Death is often far from peaceful. It can be painful, undignified, and incredibly distressing. I hope you never have to witness that.
      July 20, 2022 8:20 PM MDT
    6

  • 2898
    When my dad was taken to the hospital on what turned out to be his next to last day, I got to the emergency room to find him literally gasping for air.  He looked like a fish out of water until the ER doc gave him a sedative and put an oxygen mask on him.  They admitted him and when we went to see him the next day, the doctor told us that there was very little they could do for him other than to keep him comfortable and pain-free.  I will never get the sound of his gasping for air out of my head, so even though his death was from natural causes, it was painful.
      July 20, 2022 10:03 PM MDT
    7

  • 52993

     

      This is very touching and difficult. I’m sorry for his struggle and for how it still hits you even now. 

      November 27, 2022 7:20 PM MST
    4

  • 2964
    Sorry for you loss and your Dad's difficult time at the end of his life. 
      November 28, 2022 5:48 AM MST
    0

  • 52993

     

      (SpunkySenior posted that, I just responded to her.)

      November 28, 2022 6:54 AM MST
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  • 2898
    That was very difficult for me to watch.  
      November 28, 2022 2:23 PM MST
    1

  • 10493
    Very few deaths are "peaceful".  Pain abounds.
      July 20, 2022 10:37 PM MDT
    5

  • 32920
    No.  Death can be painful. 

    I do not think choking would be peaceful.  
      July 21, 2022 5:39 AM MDT
    4

  • 5453
    I think people just want to say it as nicely as possible even if the person who died was screaming from excruciating pain.
      November 27, 2022 8:52 PM MST
    2