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“Sidekick”? Grrrrrrr. I see what you did there, nice try. We all know who really pulls the weight on that two-man team, and it’s not Stu, he is the least active one in the partnership. His citation rate is way low.
Heck, those two fight each other almost as much as they fight grammar-related crime. The break will be good for both of them. Randolph D greets you warmly from the comfort of his living room sofa . . .
Wrong guy; that’s not even close to how he looks, just compare the two images.
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You do realize that it was intentional, don’t you?
Read the manual. I’m golden, I can’t be touched.
Section 322.1, pages 7 and 8, beginning at the third paragraph from the top, line 12:
When an officer of the Grammar Police Force who is in good standing, which excludes any officer under investigation or suspension or in a duty prohibitive status, places himself or herself on a moratorium, that officer is not subject to any grammar-related enforcement action by his or her own Grammar Police partner, by anyone in his or her own Grammar Police squad or unit, or by anyone in the Grammar Police Force managerial staff. The purpose of this regulation is not meant to give said officer carte blanche in committing intentional grammar-related crimes, violations, or infractions, this regulation stands as a protection from vindictive persecution by jealous partners, as has been known to happen when they’re assigned to Officer Randall D Randolph. Other standing members of the Grammar Police Force who are not part of that officer’s partnership, squad, unit, or superiors in his or her direct chain of command are authorized by regulation to cite suspicion of any or all instances wherein that officer may have committed grammar-related crimes, violations, or infractions
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I have plenty more where that came from. Would you like an excerpt from my treatise on the evils of Vegemite importation into the North American continent?
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Thank you.
The days are ticking by. I had a dangerously close call today when my reflexes and training almost caused the muscle memory to go into citation mode. (There is no ‘t’ in Alzheimer’s.)
I’ll be back soon and things will return to normal.
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I wonder if you purposefully omitted the open parentheses just to test me to see if I’d catch it, or just to test me to see if I’d violate the moratorium. Well, it is what it . . . Grrrrrrr.
Anyway, I don’t know if you were around for the self-imposed moratorium on mentioning sandwiches a couple of years ago. It had been predicted on my oft-mentioned love of sandwiches that had driven Sharonna absolutely batty. She ranted about how horrible it was to her, such to the point that she wanted it to stop. Without a direct suggestion or request from her that I do this, I came up with a 30-day moratorium as a peace offering. I implemented it, things calmed down, the 30 sandwich-free days lapsed without incident, and when it was all over, she said it had given her relief and comfort, she calmed down, and we actually shared words of truce and reconciliation over it all. She acknowledged my psychosis and neurological need to rave about sandwiches, I acknowledged her need for sanity and to not be subjected to it, and we were back in sisterly and brotherly love with each other again. I resumed Sammich Chat as before, she never spoke out against it again. (I’m glad she didn’t go after the Minnesota trips, the Harem, the motel crawl, or the tildes. That would have meant war! Grrrrrrr.)
Long story short: 30 days are all you’ll get, Sister. Enjoy it, live with it, and brace yourself for the day of my triumphant return after the respite.
Even though Stu and I have been assigned as partners, we often work independently of each other, a necessary measure to ensure that we’re not constantly at each other’s throats over our frequent differences.
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Slartibartfast 