Do you know the Christmas rules?

You forgot number four.
4. If you can't eat them, plant your boot up their as$.

The Christmas "suggestions" (for cats)

1. Don't climb the tree.  (whEn tHEy'rE wAtcHiNg.)
2. Don't knock the tree over.  (tHe dOg dId iT.)
3. Leave the ornaments alone.  (JuST thE onEs out oF rEAcH.)
4. All the presents aren't yours, so don't open them.  (dIdn'T say cOulDN't uSe tHEm aS sCRatcHIng pOstS.)
5. Don't dump over the water dish in protest. (SteP in WatEr dIsH thEN tRAck iT alL Over The HOuse iNstEad.)
6. Don't use the guests legs as scratching posts.  (thaT'S wHaT thoSE boXes UNder tHE treE aRe fOR.)
7. Don't touch the food.  (lICkINg isn'T cOnsiDEred tOucHinG).
8. No horking up hairballs in front of the guests (nOt hAIrballS, gIftS fRom SaNTa CaT.) 
9. "Singing" the "Litter Box song" is not considered caroling.  (iS tOo!)
10. Do not jump on tables and clean yourself.  (eVeRYoNe caN see YOu jUst fINe iN MiDDle Of flOoR.)
11. BE GOOD!  (uTteR imPossiBiliTy.)