What takes my mind off of you?

 

  Hey, wait!
  ~

  I can’t do this, we’re through. I’ll be in the guest bedroom packing up my vats of massage oils and the Anti-Livvie Voodoo Doll collection, please don’t beg me to stay. Grrrrrr.
~

Bye, Felicia.

  Gee, I’ve kept a lot more massage oils here than I remembered, it will take much longer to get it all out of here. And I also discovered the framed copy of the first grammar-related citation I issued as a rookie, and a slew of road maps from San Diego to Minneapolis! What a treasure trove!

  Ok, since it’s such a chore moving on, this is your final warning of losing me and your last chance to burn your entire supply of avocados and mayo in an effort to convince me not to leave . . .
  ~

Randy -- Guac?

Guac -- Randy?

Guac

 

  You’ll be SORRY!!!!  Poor decision on your part, my dear. Now Jane S is going to hog all of my lovin’ for herself.
  ~

Speaking of hogs...

I shall defer to my new good friend Jane.

 

  (For now), Jane S will most likely agree to letting you still see me on alternate Tuesdays or every other week, something like that. She can only take me in small doses (for now).

~

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, let alone my good friend, Spunky. Go find yourself a giant hamburger and drown your disappointment. 

 

 By stating you wouldn’t wish me onto anyone else, you’re saying you’ll bear the burden yourself.  I’ll be right there!

~

I'll pass, thanks.

 

  Grrrrrrr! Folks, she keeps posting this, it’s not a picture of ME!

Here you are in your grammar police uniform.

  My only consolation is knowing you spent a long time searching for just the right fake evidence in an attempt to debase me. I’m not worried, though; my adoring public knows the real me. Grrrrrrrr. 

  

~

You have a very active imagination. 

 

  See, you DO know me very well after all, don’t you? (I’m so happy, folks! Yet another building block solidly installed in moving our lust affair into place.)

~