So this baby seal walks into a bar. The barkeeper asks him what he wants. "Anything but a Canadian Club."
This post was edited by Element 99 at November 22, 2016 5:06 PM MST
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”
Couple of guys were out hunting when one suddenly collapses and falls to the ground; he is not breathing and his eyes are glazed. His buddy dials 9-1-1 and say "I think my buddy just died!"
Operator replies "ok calm down sir, could you make sure he is dead"?