Um........your phone number? Sure, let's have it. Email address will do. Waiting, with pen.......................
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at December 28, 2016 3:25 AM MST
(((Ok, Kiddo, but make sure that I get 11 per cent royalties, and change my name to Dandi Ree, a South Korean college student on n exchange program. Now, once again from the top . . . )))
Yes, slow down a little. I'm trying to write all this down. Wait, you're not actually writing any of this down, are you? I made it perfectly clear from the beginning that I want it to be off the record! OK, got it. You can continue now.
"Several months after our fake online divorce or our equally fake online marriage, she packed her bags and left town, headed for parts unknown, she informed no one, and she left no forwarding address either. Naturally, when questions arose as to her whereabouts, the cops sent some hard-nosed detective lady out to sweat me. Libby was her name, no, wait, it was Lizzie, or Lindsey, something like that. Anyway, she gave me a hard time, accused me of getting rid of my fake ex. What motive did I have, that was always my question, and my defense, I'll have you know. "Anyway, other than a few grilled cheese crumbs that could have come from anywhere, Sherlock Lidia never had any evidence on me, and eventually the case ran cold. Oh, sure, that Lynnie detective lady has shown up again every now and then to investigate 'new leads' (which I believe are fabricated by dubious tipsters who want me framed), but they've all fizzled out. If you ask me, that detective has the hots for me and jumps at any chance for contact, that's all that is. She's a cute kid, a bit aggressive maybe, but really a smart cookie. It's a good thing both she and I are married to other people, but to tell the truth, nothing would ever transpire between us anyway. "Say, just to be sure, you're NOT writing this down or recording it, right?
Well, it sure has been nice catching up with you, but I really must be going. You are still using the alias "Randy D" if I need to look you up again, right?
Well, sure, but why do you keep getting so close to me when I start talking and thrusting your chest at me? I didn't know it was "thatkind" of interview!
Hey, wait a minute, I recognize you! Aren't you the same woman who tried to frame me on the bum rap for smuggling fake tildes in from China? You're wearing a wire, aren't you?
~
Benedict Arnold 