I truly lucked out. I met good people in my later life that gave me a push in the right direction. I am convinced I was always meant for something better than where I was. Thank-you Lago.
Of course you were, of course. It is heart breaking to see so many little spirits squashed because they never realized that. It took me many years of adulthood to come to that point myself. I feel there should be a reimbursement center of some sort somewhere, you know? Where you can go to some one in a long beard and say, "well, Mr Thee, im going to need about ten years back, thank you." You know what I mean?
I guess I find healing whenever I can just reach out to one human being and let them know they are not alone in this world. I just want to get that message out there that the past does not have to define us. Not one bit.
Some of the kindest and strongest people I know had horrific early lives. I am honored to have met a few.
Element, I cannot imagine the pain of losing a family member and never knowing what happened. I hope you were able to find some way of coping all these years with it.
My mom and step father were both very abusive. My moms favorite word for me was stupid. Mom was both physically and emotionally abusive. My step father was an abusive alcoholic. He'd whip me with his belt and not care which end of it hit me or where. I always had bruises on my legs and back. Mom would tell me I could have a pet, then when I'd get a kitten or puppy, after about a week or so they would take it and throw it out of the car somewhere. My mom was never supportive of anything I ever wanted to do. When I said I'd like to do something, she'd laugh and tell me I'd never be able to do it. My dad never came around much after him and my mom divorced when I was two. Oh, he'd call and say he would pick me up on the weekend to take me to a movie or something and then he wouldn't show up. Then mom would yell at me about that. Take your pick....I have quite a few bad memories as a child. This is just the tip of the iceberg of my childhood memories.
Geezus Karen. The part with using little pets to hurt you just almost too much the bare. I have my own animal trauma stories centered around my parents, but more because they were neglectful and had no clue what I was taking in.
Hugs to you. I hope you met some good people after all that and could find some healing.
My grandma was my rock. She babysat me while my mom worked and I'd spend the night with her a lot. I know my grandma and her sisters loved me. my childhood didn't break me, I survived it and feel I'm a stronger person because of it. I did take to reading a lot to escape, I'm still a big reader. There were several times when i was a young teenager that I did think about killing myself, but thank goodness i never acted on it. It was just more of a fantasy. My mom is still alive, but I don't have the warm fuzzies for her that other people feel about their mom. The older she gets, the meaner she gets. She is just a great big ball of negativity and tries to suck all the positive out of the universe. I never ever felt loved by my mom. But, like I said, I survived it and I refuse to feel like a victim because of it. I am a very strong independent person because of it. So I guess a positive came out of it. I didn't spank my daughter very often, and when I did, it wasn't hard enough to actually hurt her. I never called her stupid and I always supported whatever she wanted to do. We have a very strong bond, and I know she loves me as much as I love her.
You and I have a lot in common! Wow. My rock was my loving grandmother that lived two doors down from me. I loved her and she loved me, unconditionally. Unfortunately, she died when I was only 16. From there on in, I was out to fend for myself.
My mother was absent from a lot of my adult life. She and I grew close at the very end of her life when she was dying. That was last year. It will be a year this April that she died and a part of me feels cheated. But I will take what I had for what it was.
Being a parent is a huge challenge, even if you had a wonderful childhood. I really feel blessed to share parenting my older children with the man I married later in life. We both hold each other up, each having strengths in different areas.
I am absolutely determined that the cycle of neglect, abuse, and pain ends with me. My kids have their own challenges, but they know I love them unconditionally.
That's why I raised my daughter with a soft hand. She's a very polite, helpful and considerate young lady. I am very very proud of her. Grandmas are the best!! well, not my daughter's grandma, but you know what I mean.
My eyes got misty too. But I didn't think it would be manly to say that. Things.like.that make me sad-angry. I wonder how many of us carry long faded bruises. Imagine that if for some reason they all became visible all of a sudden. For one day. I wonder how many people would stay home that day.
It's called being human. The day we no longer feel anything over things like this is the day we have something to worry about. That is how I look at it.
I don't dwell on painful memories, but I feel for anyone that experienced trauma and pain, especially as a helpless child.
I do Peapod, I dwell on them, and hold them for a long time. I have a little problem with people getting away with things like.that only because they can. I understand the whole, "holding grudges hurt you more than it hurts the other person", Some people should not get away with some things.just because they got old. I think.
I didn't speak to a certain person for ten years. When we did talk again. She apologized. I think I am, in that sense, one of the very few lucky ones. Im glad you made.it out the.other side. Like I said, it took me a while to do the.same. If in fact I ever did.
And you know what? That is very healthy on your part. It's ridiculous to think we can or should carry on with these same people with their same patterns in our adult life. You have to take care of you first.
If it's meant to be, you and your mom can find some common ground (or not). My situation was sort of forced on me since my siblings left her care to me solo. In my case, she had a bit of an awakening. But it doesn't always happen. My dad died a very miserable human being and he let me know every chance he could how much he saw himself as a victim of our miserable family. Trust me, it hurt because for many years, I saw him as the polar opposite. He was kind and caring, but grew bitter years after our family fell to pieces.
PeaPod is just popping by 