Discussion»Questions»Relationships» How do you ever know if you really KNOW someone? They can flip on a dime ever after many years. Ever happen to you? What did you do?
Yea had it happen to me.. it was truly something that will never leave me.. this was a guy i'd known for over 6 years and been in a relationship for year and a half with.. then he flipped one night, his face was the picture of anger and evil :( I wouldn't have thought it possible..
The song I can't live, if living is without you reminds me of him but only because in my head the lyrics that go, you always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows, get changed to you always smile but in your eyes your evil/hatred shows... I still remember that face, twisted in evil...
It was a sad moment cos that was the moment that I not only lost someone I had loved but I lost a very important friend too. I was almost sadder that I had lost him as a friend to be honest because after seeing that evil twisted face I knew I had been so wrong about him and didn't know him at all.
Could he have had a mental breakdown sweetie? Such a drastic flip seems like it might have been something he could not control. Not that I'm defending him. I had a similar situation via email. A friendship developed due to mutual friends and a tragedy that brought us together. It lasted a couple of years. I never met the people..there were two of them. But we emailed DAILY! Then out of the blue one day I get a rabid crazy astonishingly vicious email! All in caps and colored letters too! I sent an email back and asked "what is this all about?" In return I got another email accusing me of being hateful and vicious and mean. I could not believe it. So I wrote back "so long" and that was that. I got subsequent emails from the person who was the more vicious of the two but automatically deleted them. I had no interest in anything she had to say. If she could flip once she could flip again but not on my time. Then there have been a few who just disappeared out of my life with no notice. To this day I can't figure out why. SIGH. Thank you for your thoughtful reply DdbTD. It is his loss. I say good riddance! But most sadly. ((hugs))
Wellll I did resume seeing him after a break of 6 weeks or so... but I couldn't just ignore what happened and it was all part of a bigger picture of betrayal from him... things he shouldn't done out of respect for our friendship, let alone that he'd done it to someone he claimed to love. And I can see that this IS just part of who he is, it was just a side i hadn't seen until that point, as was the betrayal... so in my case I knew what he was capable of and I even knew why, I understand the whole psyche - I just hoped that our friendship and his supposed love would prevent him from hurting me... I was wrong there :(
Yup, it's happened to me and to this day, I never really understood people who change in that way. Maybe they were never that person we thought they were, but it's amazing that they kept it to themselves only to show their true face years later.
It's happened a few times to me too Zack. I had asked a question earlier on Answermug about seeing the signs in advance. I never saw it coming. I was gobsmacked. But maybe the signs were there and I just didn't want to see them. T'is a puzzlement. Thank you for your reply! :)
Benedict Arnold 