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Discussion » Questions » Life and Society » We can see others very clearly. We never get to see ourselves. Only reflections. Does it make a difference? Why/how?
RosieG

We can see others very clearly. We never get to see ourselves. Only reflections. Does it make a difference? Why/how?

Posted - February 25, 2017
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Responses


  • Aww heck my assignment is about that very subject, or partly so.. lol you really DON'T want my answer on that.. it would be hideously long and boring.. but the short version is.. we can learn to see ourselves and arguably should.. However as you say many of us do just see ourselves in terms of how others see us and as a reflection of their *feedback* and reactions.. It's important to see ourselves and listen to ourselves, trust our own judgement and be realistic as this will lead to us being better people who function better in the world around us
      February 25, 2017 6:32 AM MST
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  • 113301
    If, like The Donald, we have a loose grip on reality and cannot tolerate disagreement/criticism there is no way we can ever learn to "see ourselves". I don't know how many like The Donald there are out there DdbTD but I suspect there are far more than we could ever imagine. Sadly. Thank you for your reply! :) Oh. "Assignment"? Vas iss diss? This post was edited by RosieG at February 25, 2017 8:56 AM MST
      February 25, 2017 8:38 AM MST
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  • Assignment is dulllllll difficult and taking way too long... that's what it is :P  Trump's loopy so he doesn't count .. but yes he fits a number of personality disorder classifications and a number of them do have the criteria of NOT being able to see or accept yourself as others see you and not being able to take criticism.
      February 25, 2017 8:58 AM MST
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  • Just read this which seems relevant... the fully-functioning person is able to be *honest* with himself - well there you go then, Trump is truly not honest with himself or anyone else..so he's not a fully-functioning person :P 
      February 25, 2017 9:02 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Who assigned this? Are you in school? Inquiring minds wanna know! Please and thank you DdbTD! :)
      February 25, 2017 9:13 AM MST
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  • Dear Rosie G,

    This is something I have worked on a lot...very fruitful...

    From the work of Carl Jung, whenever you see a trait in others, what you are looking at is your own reflection! So if I notice a flaw in someone else, I just pause...and look within...

    * * *
    And yes it does seem to make a big difference, life becoming much better/happier/fulfilling with all this introspection going on...

      February 25, 2017 7:55 AM MST
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  • Absolutely, and the opposite, but equally unhelpful is when we are *taught* as children that we are *useless*, *clumsy* etc. etc. etc. then we have to unlearn that negative perception, it's not US, it's their perception, and most likely their own weakness. My influences at this moment are another Carl Carl Rogers.  We need to be able to look into ourselves and see ourselves as whole, or potentially so, and full of all the resources we need to be able to be worthy and valuable. 
      February 25, 2017 8:12 AM MST
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  • Hi DDBTD,

    Could you by chance suggest something brief by or about Carl Rogers, which gives his philosophy succinctly but accurately? I would like very much to just become acquainted...
      February 25, 2017 8:16 AM MST
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  • http://www.simplypsychology.org/carl-rogers.html your wish is my command.. I have about a million tabs open on him at the moment but that one seems nice and straight forward :)
      February 25, 2017 8:18 AM MST
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  • Oh and it's on a website, I don't even have to go to the library, ty SO much!
      February 25, 2017 8:20 AM MST
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  • Ahh well there are books too :)  But I think they are heavier going.. his most famous one is "on becoming a person"  
      February 25, 2017 8:27 AM MST
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  • 113301
    I disagree with thee m'dear. Emphatically. Here's why. The flaws I see in The Donald are many. He lies when he opens his mouth. He attacks/vilifies/insults because he is vindictive/vitriolic/vendetta-oriented. I do not believe in revenge/retaliation. I also don't lie. Not because I'm such a good person but because the humiliation of being caught in telling a lie and branded LIAR would be far worse for me than to simply tell the truth and take the hits up front. I could go on at great length but it would bore you. Seeing the flaws in others that you find unacceptable/unconscionable/deplorable/evil in no way means you share them. In my opinion. I can only believe what makes sense to me. What you wrote doesn't. No disrespect intended! Thank you for your thoughtful and detailed analysis in response to my question and Happy Saturday to thee VL!
      February 25, 2017 8:46 AM MST
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  • 2219
    Oh, wad some powr the giftie gie us, tae see oorsels as ithers see us. 
      February 25, 2017 7:57 AM MST
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  • "It wad frae mony a blunder free us, An' foolish notion"

    So perfect, Malizz
      February 25, 2017 8:13 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Robbie Burns!  Indeed t'is true! But how many of us would want to see the mouse hiding in the grand hat? Thank you for your reply Malizz and Happy Saturday! :)
      February 25, 2017 8:48 AM MST
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  • 46117
    I do nothing but watch myself interact and talk and think all day and night. 

    I know me.  What other people think, is helpful and oftentimes surprising, but hardly revealing.

    I use other people's opinions every day.   I think they know at least as much as i do, and other feedback is helpful as to how to navigate.  But they don't know me half as well as I know me.  No one does. 

    But, I also posess the ability to see other people a lot more deeply than they see themselves.  Call it a gift or a curse, but I stand by my ability.
      February 25, 2017 8:51 AM MST
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  • 22891
    we can still see ourselves in the mirror
      February 25, 2017 9:42 PM MST
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