How do you handle a betrayal from someone you were very close to like a family member, best friend, or romantic partner?

I like this answer for the reality check it provides, and for eliminating any possibility of a repeat performance. I took this stance with a sibling who nurtured a dark side that is frightening. The result is a comforting distance that I can depend upon for the rest of my life. We email each other at Christmas and our birthdays, but that's all. It's the most comfortable way of making sure her dark side does not drift into my life again. As for the emotional investment in family -- divesting was more satisfying. 

We had a history before our mother died and I thought that maybe we were moving to a place where we could just keep friendly tabs on each other, but not get too involved.  Because of social media and mutual friends and family, it's not so easy.  I gave up my whole Facebook account to get away from her.  It's sad because I miss those same mutual family and friends we had.

Rath, Good to see you.
I believe there is merit in putting the ball back into their court. First, as you mention, that comfortable distance is established.
Then, leaving an uncertain closure will force the hand of the offender to express remorse, or remain obstinate. Remorse may yet produce an apology, then the power to forgive (or not) is in put into your hands.
If obstinate, you will be reaffirmed in taking the first measure and in moving on without guilt and without them.
I am not the type, nor can I advocate just withdrawing into a corner, to sob as the sole response to an egregious betrayal. But, that's me.  This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 27, 2017 5:14 PM MST

There is merit in all these methods. I have found that pushing away and keeping them there by using courtesy without warmth works for me. She doesn't know why I haven't invited her into my life, but she recognizes that there exits a boundary she must not cross. I don't need an autopsy to know our childhood is finished. It sounds hard, but I need to protect myself. 

In today's world, you "delete" them.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.
Why don't I use delete instead of erase? 
I wonder what that says?
Maybe deleting is like Super final, erasing there may a chance of them seeing the.light. maybe.
Good comment!!!!!!

Yeah, since many of us have a digital connection to family that may not live close by, "delete" would be the word if you are cutting ties.

I was finally learning NOT to be one and I did stand up to her months before this latest.  She begged my forgiveness, which I gave.  Then it turns out, she only did that to make our dying mother happy.  Imagine being told that...all on a public shaming post on social media that we shared.  Nothing led up to the incident either.  She just unloaded one night, obviously after getting herself pickled (she is an alcoholic).  

Obviously, there are things that cannot be undone and because I know there is no more forgiveness to offer, I mourn a loss like any other death in my family.  It's sad because we have a lot of mutual family and friends that are left on the sidelines, not wanting to take sides.  I just made it easy for everyone and left.

I'm so sorry that happened, PeaPod. Because I don't use social media it's easy for me to dissociated myself from such things but I know it's important to you to keep in touch with the rest of your family. At leasst you've learned now that she can't be trusted. I'm sure the rest of your family can see through her, too. I hope so. 

THAT is probably the most painful part for me is.  I only really had the FB account because most of my family and friends are scattered all over the country and the world.  It was a valuable way of locating family on my mother's side that I was just getting to know (they live outside the US and I never got to know them until after she died).  It was really healing having them there as I worked through my grief of losing my mom.  I think my sister saw those connections and may have been jealous.  It's only a guess on my part since I have no answers on what prompted this sudden lashing.  I don't know what others believe and I refuse to answer back in such a place.  I simply left, knowing I had no control.  I figure if anyone really wants to keep in touch, they have my contact info.  

I bet you saved yourself a lot of grief taking a hard stand when someone does you wrong.  This is the way it should be.  No one has a right to mow over others, just because they can. 

I have been screwed over too many times. Never again.

As the way it should be!

I feel the.same

I think a lot of people do that.  If people could easily communicate their feelings before things got really bad, most of us would be pretty level.

Wow Tom.  That is rough and there are people that simply defy what is "right" in life.  Sometimes death is the only closure in that case. 

You are right that some are born broken and there is no amount of love that can change that.

So true. Despite our best hopes or intentions, not everyone is redeemable or worth redeeming. Hard lesson to have lived.

Succubi,...very apt This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 28, 2017 5:12 AM MST

I'm sorry MS.  Most of these betrayals are totally uncalled for.  I'm sure this was going on behind my back too before it came out.