.
My husband likes porn which shows women who are obviously willing. To him, the idea of an unwilling woman is a complete turn-off. He has not a shred of aggression in him. Even when he's angry, the worst he'll do is roar like a lion. These qualities are a big part of the reason I married him.
So, if some men like the type of porn which blends sex with violence, then they have developed a fetish. Personally I dislike it, but if it stays in the realm of fantasy I don't think it causes any harm and so I'd never think of censoring it.
It is known that sex can be addictive. Addiction develops when a process is used to "medicate" or mood alter -- as an escape from intolerable emotions. When used in this way, there is a tendency for desensitisation to occur so that the addict is continually seeking higher levels of stimulation in order to get off.
If this tendency was combined with an absence of empathy and compassion (ie pathological personality), then such an addiction could progress to criminal acts such as sexual assault and rape.
What I'm saying is that the porn itself is not the cause of sexual violence. But people who have a prior inclination in that direction could use it as part of their progression towards acting out.
The proof exists in the study of prehistoric bones. Sexual violence goes back before the beginnings of history, and long before the invention of porn.
Thank you for your thoughtful and honest answer WW. I think porn is more a guy thing than a gal thing although I could be wrong. I have never thought much about it. It seems to me a relatively benign pastime providing it doesn't incite one to do harm to self or others. It's really no one's business unless the person who spends his time that way acts out and hurts others. It seems to me to be an outlet that doesn't bring a lot of baggage with it. Of course I am not educated in the subject. :) I do appreciate the way in which you responded. I think it is very classy m'dear.
I never thought much about it hartfire. I think it is more a guy thing than a gal thing. It's really no one's business unless the person who spends time with porn acts out and harm himself or others. Otherwise I really see no harm in it. I am not educated about the whys and wherefores. It's just another things folks do. Thank you for 
your thoughtful anwer m'dear! :)
I think you probably need to ask the Porn Addicts that question.... Obviously there are a number of them here !
Most Porn addicts are male..
Male sex addicts tend to objectify their partners while female sex addicts tend to use sex for power, control, and attention. With that said, it's logical that men are more likely to be addicted to porn than women since porn is all about the sexual objectification of the human body.
"Most Porn addicts are male.."
Hello Rosie:
There are NO porn addicts. To suggest that porn is addictive DIMINISHES actual addiction..
There's people like you, who don't enjoy it, people like me who do, and people who enjoy it a LOT. That's ALL.. Please don't confuse people who consume porn, even a LOT of it, with CRIMINALS. There's NO connection whatsoever.
excon
"Most Porn addicts are male.."
Of course it does. Did you ever watch porn? It is made for a reason. It gets the juices flowing. If you are nuts, then it gets the sexually dysfunctional juices flowing. But you cannot ban porn for that reason. You cannot ban smut. Smut can be made any time any place.
If I am a pervert and there is no porn, I will merely get a camera and make my own. I don't need to buy it in a store or download it on the internet.
I think porn is very detrimental to developing minds, I think it sends the message that sex is not connected to dignity, love, healthy relationships or anything civilized. If you think this is healthy, I have no words for you.
Our minds are able to be influenced at the drop of a hat. You put this crap in front of a young, disturbed boy full of hormones and all hell can break loose. The jails are filled with perps who had collections of porn. That is about all that their brains can find entertaining on the level they operate from.
I really can find no positive use for any of it.
I think porn is like eating chicken mcnuggets. Warm and chunky, and greasy and filling. What's there not to like. Until you look into where they come from, and what goes in the process of making us hot and bothered. It's an industry of chew them and spit them out (or swallow), and it's women the ones getting spat out. It's incredibly denigrAting, and it sets a horrible example to young men as to what sex is about. And for women, as it TELLS them what they should be ok with.
Plus story telling wise, is pretty pre-dick-table. You know at the end, somebody is getting shot in the face.
I'm not saying I have not watched it, or that I never do. I do eat chicken nuggets too, that doesn't make them better.
In terms of addiction, and acting out, the seeing it on screen, done with "willing participants" makes it real in the head of the one watching. Makes it possible. Makes it tryable. For someone like that, porn eventually is not enough.
How did you ever get the idea that I thought those who ventured into porn made them criminals? I suggest you read the responses of Winged Wonder and Hartfire and my comments and then if you wish you might return here and we can discuss your issues with porn. I have none. You seem to have some
. As of this moment you didn't get it excon. Surprisingly. You didn't get it. Thank you for your response.
No Sharonna. I haven't ever
watched porn nor have I ever attended a strip club. Not my cuppa tea. My mother, however, did both with her second husband. My stepdad. Whatever turns folks on without harming anyone is okay with me. It's none of my business. Thank you for your reply. My mom was clearly a different kind gal than I am. Different strokes. Thank you for your reply.
Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful answer NHP. I have no experience with porn or strip clubs. Not my cuppa tea. But I also don't think ill of those who find enjoyment there . As long as no one is hurt what's the problem? I just wondered if it might be like a valve that let's steam be released so that the pot doesn't explode! Happy Wednesday to thee! :)
Very well said hartfire. I had an ex that was into it big time. It certainly did NOT make him act out sexually against any women.
If anything, it kept him closed off to what was real like any addiction. And I can tell you he was addicted and was so even before we met.
It certainly never enhanced things.
When I was a young lad in college, I was somewhat friendly with one of my female dorm floor mates. She was an English Literature major and one day I wandered into her room while she was studying. I asked her what she was working on and she showed me some poetry by an old famous English author (I forget who. It might have been Chaucer. If it wasn't Chaucer, it was someone of that stature).
The peotry was basically porn. It described nearly every kind of sex act depicted nowadays in 4k High-Defintion video, using every curse word and anatomical reference any modern English speaker would recognize. Apparently, authors publishing such works to make a few extra shillings was quite common in that time (because much like today fine literature didn't pay very well).
Since then, I have seen further evidence suggesting pornography (in various forms) has been present throughout human history. I think this historical reality tells us one of two things:
a) There have been (and continue to be) a LOT of violent sex offenders in society such that porn production is supported
II) People of varying dispositions consume porn, and the association between porn collecting and violent sexual assault is simply Confirmation Bias (i.e. 20 people collect/are "addicted to" porn. One of them commits violence. We don't here about the other 19 perfectly law-abiding porn addicts).
I don't indulge in it myself OS but I see nothing wrong with it. PROVIDING it hurts no one. It is no one's business what people do in private. But does indulging in porn exacer
bate the problem of sexual attacks or does it mitigate it by providing to way to get some release? Mahalo fo ryour reply. Can you answer that question?
Your reply is ridiculous Pay. It is not thoughtul, helpful, useful or informative. Why are you here?
@RosieG -- While I have not studied the subject in depth, my impression of the research is there's really no predictable pattern. Some sexually violent people will use porn as a substitute, some will use porn to get ideas, and some will be unaffected either way.
I think there's an argument to be made the production of porn and its consumption by non-violent people may be of greater import. After all, SOMEBODY has to be involved in producing the media, and there is evidence suggesting people involved in the production business are under substantial competitive pressures (i.e. that another performer is younger/hotter/more willing to do outrageous acts). The competitive pressures can lead to stress, anxiety, drug/alcohol abuse, etc.
I have also read some reports suggesting the ubiquity of porn in our modern life has altered people's expectations of how real-life sex should be. In particular, it seems women have to remind men that just because Brittney Moans is willing to do wild outrageous things on camera for money, that doesn't mean those things are what most women want to do/are willing to do in their own sex lives.
Mahalo for your additional reply OS. I know zero about the subject. However I have always thought porn might be the vent that releases steam from folks much like a pressure cooker has a vent to release steam so it doesn't explode. In private when no one else is involved and no one is hurt including the indulger I have nothing against it. I mean people indulge in guilty pleasures all the time. Some pig out on food. Some are sex addicts. Some are shopaholics. Some are cross -dressers. As you often say it is complicated. People are complicated. They need crutches. Some are harmful. Some are less so. :)
NotHarryPotter ~
Sharonna~ we finally agree on something!!
Pat Fagan
Pornography is a major threat to marriages, the family, and the society at large. It is not a private choice without public consequence. Pornography alters both sexual attitudes and behavior, undermining marriage, which in turn, undermines the stability of the entire community.
The Family and Pornography
Pornography affects all members of the family. Not only does it eliminate an affectionate family life, children can experience traumas related to encounters with their parents' pornographic material. A study of adolescents revealed that viewing sexually explicit internet materials significantly increased their uncertainties about sexuality, and it can lower their self-esteem and bring about feelings of loneliness[1] and depression.[2] Pornography devastates marriages, as husbands report to loving their spouses less due to the addiction, and the wives of these users have deep psychological wounds, with feelings of betrayal, mistrust, and anger towards their partner, sometimes requiring clinical treatment for trauma.[3]
Pornography use and "cybersex" can often be just as damaging to family relationships as real-life infidelity, and this estrangement has tangible consequences: when viewing pornography becomes and addiction, 40 percent of "sex addicts" lose their spouses, 58 percent suffer considerable financial losses, and about a third lose their jobs.[4]
The Individual and Pornography
Pornography changes the habits of the mind, and its use can easily become habitual, leading to desensitization, boredom, distorted views of reality, and an objectification of women. A greater amount of sexual stimuli becomes necessary to arouse habitual users, leading them to pursue more deviant forms of pornography to fulfill their sexual desires, e.g., watching "depictions of group sex, sadomasochistic practices, and sexual contact with animals."[5]
