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Wow, Rosie~ who made you the big cheese around here, that you can treat anyone like you just did paynuts? Amazing indeed!!! Talk about bullying, this is it at its finest!!
Quite a popular question from you Rosie. My opinion...If a guy watches porn and has a wank he is probably less likely to go out and ply his desires on others. I like short answers.
I don't know who Pat Fagan is, but the above has been cherry-picked and is not quite factual according to the research described.
In order for a process addiction (as opposed to a chemical addiction such as heroine or ice) to form, the person must be using the process as a means of mood alteration. A sex addict uses sex when feeling depressed or stressed as a way to escape the uncomfortable feelings. The more frequently the urge is indulged, the lower the level of physical need and therefore the higher the level of stimulation required in order to achieve the excitement which alters the mood. This does alter neurochemistry and is habit forming. It does lead, eventually, to behaviours which are destructive to relationships. However, the critical ingredient is not actually the porn itself - it is the inability of the person to deal appropriately with suffering and stress. Such a person usually has many other addictions, including alcohol or other drugs. Even if an addict uses no porn at all, they are still going to destroy their family relationships.
I believe the objectification of women comes from only one source, lack of compassion for the suffering of others. It's a common sign of immaturity. And it's the major cause of pathological behaviour.
What I'm saying is that if you wish to protect the monogamy of marriage vows and the security of the family you need to look at psychological health and development, not porn.
There are far more causes for marital boredom and dysfunction than porn. Learning good communication and conflict resolution skills is absolutely necessary. When these are achieved, providing the bodies are young enough and healthy, the sex and love takes care of itself, with or without porn.
Excellent points.
You have just changed my view of porn, completely.
Very well put.
To RosieG,
I have to qualify my answer after reading NotHarryPotter and Old Skol's responses.
There really is a major problem with the producing of porn. It does victimise the subjects and can lead to drug addiction and serious harm or death. We know this from evidence uncovered in organised crime busts.
The user is directly complicit in making the industry profitable.
I feel like an idiot for having forgotten this awful fact.
Where I previously had no great objection to others viewing violent or non-consensual porn, now I strongly object to it.
To Paynuts,
Your first answer to Rosie's question was,
"Why the generalization that all porn addicts are men? That's regressive thinking Rosie. Shame"
In her question, Rosie did not actually say that all porn addicts are male. Even her reference to assaults on women does not state that the offenders are male.
It is we, the readers and responders, who have jumped to conclusions, based on our own views about probabilities.
I think Rosie replies that your response is “ridiculous.” I think she's referring to a non-sequitur that she sees as illogical. She's trying to be brief, but in the process she doesn't explain her original question, her thoughts or her reaction.
She can, of course, correct me if I'm mistaken and I won't mind one bit.
I disagree with your opinion that RosieG is condescending and hypocritical.
My view of her is quite different. She likes to ask questions that prompt us to think more deeply about our beliefs, values and preconceptions. This can sound a bit like a teacher with students, but I very much doubt that her intent comes from an attitude of superiority.
I think she wants to influence people to participate in making the world gentler, more compassionate, and more just.
As far as I can glean, Rosie is an evangelical atheist, not the only one here. She also strongly believes in equal rights for all, the profound wrongness of racism and violence, freedom of speech, compassion, decency and politeness.
She would rather let others say obnoxious things, even hateful and violence-inciting things, and leave those words publicly on record for all to see, than have the haters shut up and work their hate in secret. Just as she allows others to speak freely, she reserves the right to answer freely. When others reply with a view contrary to hers, she thanks them politely – unless they are rude to her personally and then she bites back. I personally don't see how this is hypocritical.
Thank you for kind defese hartfire. One correction. I am not a Atheist. I talk to God daily. I gave up church many decades ago because it was an unnecessary middleman and I found many of the people to be hypocritical. I ask the questions I do because God gave me a brain and the ability to think and I'm sire He doesn't mind when I question Him or religion or those who are religious. I was a Sunday School teacher when I was 12 years old! Yes. I taught kindergarten chhildren that God is love. We read simple bible stories. I do not wear my religious beliefs on my sleeve. I don't try to proselytize. I think people should believe whatever makes sense to them and I have no problem with that. I appreciate that you understand why I ask questions. I ask them because they occur to me and I think maybe they will have occurred to other people too. There are people here as there were people on Answerbag whose responses to me are always based on partisan political differences. As a result their responses are knee-jerk hipshot automatic sameoldsameoldsameoldsameold. They will ALWAYS make everything I ask political so they can attack. I pay no attention. As you may noticed have my interests are many and I ask all kinds of questions. Sometimes I am blessed to have folks like you who take my questions seriously and give me thoughtful, useful, helpful and informative answers. I am not a teacher. I am a perennial student and I'm like a dry sponge. I soak up everything I encounter. It is a privilege to spend time with the kind and intelligent people on Answermug who choose to engage. I am very lucky. I appreciate your coming to bat for me. My questions are clearly not everyone's cuppa tea. Why some folks get so angry and hostile I shall never understand., They are what they are after all and can't help it
I suppose. I enjoy lively exchanges. I don't tolerate rude people. I am in total control of what I read and say and I like it that way. Thank again m'dear! :)
I think porn addicts are like alcoholics. They should abstain from watching porn, just like alcoholics shouldn't drink alcohol. I don't know if it encourages them to be bad in the real world. Maybe for some people? I think a lot of people watch porn, but they would never harm anyone in real life. Just like lots of people play violent video games, but they aren't violent in real life.
You know sweetie my mom and stepdad went to strip clubs and watched porn together. So what, right? It doesn't call to me but I just don't get why the GOP would make that a part of their plank/platform or whatever they call it. That Porn is a menace to society. I mean really? With all the substantive problems we have to deal with I don't see how porn is one of them. As long as no one gets hurt by it whose business is it? Just because it is something that isn't for me doesn't make me look down on those who find some value to it. I don't usually ask popular questions Ele. As you very well know. And I wouldn't have asked this one except that I thought it was such a bizarre thing for the GOP
to do. Thank you for your reply my friend and Happy Thursday! :) ((hugs))
The reason I asked the question was because I thought it was such a bizarre thing to do. Make it part of the GOP platform. Calling it a menace to society. I think there are many far worse menaces. If no one gets hurt and folks are willing whose business is it anyway? I don't get it. It isn't my cuppa tea but heck there are things I like to do that isn't other people's cuppa tea either
. So what, right? We're different people and like to do different things. Thank you for your reply sw and Happy Thursday! :)
Thank you for your additional comment hartfire. I appreciate it. What caused me to ask the question was that the GOP put that in their platform. Calling Porn a menace to society. I can think of other menaces far more menacing. :(
Interesting. The GOP is trying anything they can for an extra vote or two. My first wife and I used to go to a private mob-owned strip club when I was a young sailor in Charleston SC.
I guess. But they ALREADY HAVE the extreme-right religious folks locked up tight don't they? I dunno Ele.It is going to get curiouser. And curioser. :(
It wasn't my intention in any way to criticize your opinion. It's a valid opinion shared by a lot of people. I respect it. It's just not mine. It's ok. I'm not either coming from a moral stance. theres just something sticky about it, like the floor in a movie theater.
To me. It doesn't mean I haven't watched it. I just think it has a massive influence on what young people believe are acceptable practices.
You don't believe me? Ask around and see how many women shave their bits, and what's the average age of shavery. To the point now that the hirsute lady is considered gross and unkempt. Porn.
Or the relatively new, facial protein treatment, are you serious? When in our evolution that became a necessary practice? Girls grow up thinking that's something they need to accept, eventually making it part of their sexual repertoire.
We can talk more about this if you like.
Thank you Rosie.
Oh
It wasn't my intention to do that. It looks like you were in an ok place in terms of porn. That is just my opinion. But I do appreciate your comment My dear friend.
Perhaps you should watch it. I don't understand how you can have such a dismissive attitude on something you've never seen in any fashion. I say this respectfully Rosie. Not in any way confrontational.
Sorry, TBMforPres, I've lost the thread of who's replying to what... : /
I didn't feel criticised, because I thought your reply was discussing Rosie's question.
Rather, what you said reminded me of facts I knew long ago and had forgotten -- and in remembering them, I realised that I was only looking at the porn issue from the user's end, no pun intended. At that end I'm mostly a libertarian - pretty much anything's okay so long as it doesn't cause harm. But when your comments reminded me of the production end of porn, and what happens in order to make it -- well, that is a serious issue. Real harm does happen, and it's commercialised. That reality changed my view about hard porn.
Thank you!
I am so surprised! :o :)
To be honest, I have never before encountered a Christian who questions her own faith so deeply and still remains a believer.
Now I would love to know how you answer the questions you have asked here on answerMug --
that is, if you don't feel I am prying too much.
If it's too much for this context, we could do it via messages.
If I had the answers my friend I wouldn't have to ask the questions. I take no credit/debit for my curiosity. I have always been that way. I see contradiction everywhere and hypocrisy and I wonder why so many people don't seem to mind the dichotomy. How can so many people support a Donald Trump when he embodies so many negatives that they would otherwise scorn in anyone else? Many religious folks think he is a savior of sorts. No blasphemy intended here. How can that be? That is why I keep asking the questions I do. I don't think asking questions does as much harm as not asking them. As for my unshakable belief? It is ingrained within me and has been since I can remember. However I reject all the phony trappings of religion. I reject the "holier than thou" fakers who think being able to quote the bible makes them good people when they are ALSO racists and bigots and homophobic and hatemongers. I don't think it's wrong to call them out for being liars and double talkers. So I ask. If I wasn't supposed to ask the questions I do my brain wouldn't be wired the way it is. I cannot pretend to be anyone other who I am. For good or ungood. Tell me specifically which question you'd like me to answer my friend. I can't answer all the ones I ask but maybe I can come up with a specific answer for you. You did hear about the terrorist attack yesterday in France? Many dead. Many injured. 
On their holiday. Quatorze Juillet! It will be escalating I guess. All the more reason to be depressed. :(
Exactly where and how am I dismissive? Have you read my comments on this thread? I think porn is not a problem if the indulgent one doesn't hurt him/herself or others. It's no one's business what people do in private in my opinion. I asked the question because I thought it was very odd that the GOP would incorporate it in their platform. Saying that Porn is a menace to society. There are so many more menacing menaces in my opinion. As for your suggestion that I watch porn I have no interest personally in doing so. Just as I have no interest personally in smoking pot but I don't judge/fault/attack those who do Please give me the words I used that caused you to think what you think. Thank you for your reply TBMFP. Seriously. I want to know how your mind works that you would think
what I said was in any way dismissive.
I'll post some of your questions to you via messages.
The truck hit in Nice is one of the worst. In Australia, we've been watching the academics explaining the background - terror a long time in the making - almost inevitable when you look at the history.
On the morning after the last attack in Paris, a man used a rope to haul a grand piano through the streets to the site. Then he sat down and played John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance." It was so beautiful it made me cry.
That's what we need as one of the answers to terrorism - random acts of kindness and beauty.
I have a proposition for you - what if God is not as he is portrayed in the Bible -
What if he/she is a kind of conscious energy that permeates every atom at a level so refined that it can't yet be measured (omnipresent.) If this were so, all of us would be part of God, and God a part of us. If it were so, God is the essence of the world coming into being, is one in the same as all the power in the universe (omnipotent). And knows all that can be known because he is all that is. In this way, all living beings would be the children of God, and as such Jesus is the son of God, no less or more than any other, a man, but a wise man. Further, in this view, the Bible is a record of the cradle of the Western world, a record in myth and the evolution of morality.
How does this idea sit with you?
