Miss Caldwell asked me to advise you that, under the rules of OH&S, she is not permitted to carry such a heavy file. She has booked a furniture removalist to deliver it to you.
(((That's right, Jane baby, feed those complaints into the shredder, feed them in, feed them, do it just the way I like it, yes, just like that, oh you're so good at this, nobody protects Daddy like you do, sweetie, nice and slowly, try it with one hand, feed them in, making sure they go all the way in, there's plenty more where that came from, move a little to the right side, do it for me, don't stop now, don't you stop, keep Daddy happy, I love the sound it makes, keep going, Janey, I never want anyone else working on this, change hands for me, you've really got the magic touch, you know how to take care of your Randy, you don't go too fast or too slowly, just feed a few sheets at a time, mmmmmmm, I wonder where you learned that, Daddy like, Daddy like, Daddy like, look at me while you do it, now use both hands, yesssssss, you're going to make sure that bad ol' Miss Caldwell and the Board of Directors can't hurt your Daddy, that's why you're doing this for me, feed 'em in, you look SO hot, move a little to the left . . . ))))
Wait, aren't they supposed to be in chronological order? Start all over again, please. (While you're at it, why don't you just come in on Saturday and work on this?)