My dad is pretty easy going but my husband's grandmother is the person in my family who totally goes to pieces over things that nobody else really cares about.
No, but your description sounds like me. I have extreme anxiety, and I'm quite hyper a lot. It's the little stupid stuff that gets me amped. Yesterday, I was eating at the cafe and the other diners were making me mad because they were eating so slowly. Why does it get me mad? I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm quite rushy, I eat real fast, and just imagining myself eating as slowly as they were was getting me agitated. And the more I looked at them, the angrier it made me. I once got mad at my neighbors because they had a couch in the middle of their living room. I always have my couch up against the wall. That way, it makes the room seem bigger and leaves the middle as an open walk-space. My wife was like; "why are you letting that piss you off, it's their stuff, and their house, it doesn't affect you". Which is right. But It still pisses me off because I think its dumb, and it's something I would never do. But that's OCD. I know it's stupid to get mad over stuff like that, but it's habitual thinking.
When I was very young, I thought my father was absolutely perfect and so everything he did not like, I assumed must be really AWFUL.
Later on, I put things in more perspective... For example, Dad did not like artificially flavored beverages, contempt because they tasted "synthetic." Well, he was born 1911 and so growing up, he never even encountered that stuff...whereas now kids assume that is normal food taste.
He also did not like long hair; well he was a logger, and working in the woods during the Great Depression, you stayed close to the basics, a crew cut is what he wore all his life. Plus his generation thought long hair was faddish, coming in as it did Presley/Beatles era.
I don't think he ever ate pizza in his life, too fussy; "I am a meat-&-potatoes man, myself."
* * * So even though no great anger, he definitely had strong preferences.
When we had pizza my father would say, "Christ! Its always goddamn pizza!" He'd glare angrily as Mom served up the slices then say, "Ah,Christ! I guess I'll have a slice." He'd hold out his plate and look away as if he might be served a turd rather than pizza.
He was so angered by the long hair on students at PSU and that they dared live differently that he did, he often declared he'd one day mount a machine gun on his car and go "mow everyone down". A fine, intelligent man my father.
I wonder what made him that way, what made it so unhappy about his life that made him take it out on you guys. But. . . Yeah. . .that's must have sucked growing up like that. I remember my mother asking me why I didn't bring friends to the house..I was like...Hm, nah, it's alright.
I see getting stuck with a bad family member as stepping on dog crap, yeah it sucks and it sticks and it s going to smell for a while, but at some point im going to shake that S**t off. You know?
Whistle6...I wonder if that kind of uncontrolled rage was somewhat common among the older generations? PSU...Puget Sound University? Which would mean you were in Seattle? Lots of Scandinavians...they can be some pretty wild folk.
One small town near where I was born, there were x-teen taverns in logging days, one called THE BLOODY BUCKET, loggers would go in there and just fight, batter each other.
I am glad you are working on the compassion, your father's life not a happy way to live, and a difficult childhood like that is a lot to undo.
My dad was a very cool guy. The only thing that would put a frown on his face from time to time was my mom because she was a bit batty. The fact that he stayed with her always amazed me.
righty1 