How much should I charge for five children (child care)?

I'm not sure what  you meant by '$20 a day ' for each would be fair; you mean 20 /hour? Or 20 for the day?

For the day. $100 for five.

WEll I initially signed to ONLY watch her one y ear old, so she could do errands occasionally.  Now it has gone into an occasional day out of the typical care of the baby, in which I do not make more for additional kids, or for all of them.

Then you have to sit down with this woman and tell her that you agreed only to watch one child for X dollars and that if you're going to watch four more, you believe want more money.

Should I confront her? I feel so nervous; I'm trying to give her a deal since she is friends with my aunt, but I am doing a lot of work, for less than I'd be getting with another. Yes it is 'serious' lol, two of them are so Loud, and don't listen ... :/ I love the fam overall I'm just stumped b/c I don't want to appear too pushy ..

Honestly, they are her kids, I'm certain she already knows the amount of work that is involved here and if she's content paying you this wage, while slowly saddling on more work, she's taking advantage of you. I have one kid, he's ten, his friends come over here on a regular basis. It is not abnormal to have as many as 7 of them here at once. All of them are old enough (8-10 yrs) to be independent, but having them all here at once is no small feat. In the absence of constant activities, things escalate quickly. lol

Being a mother of the five, she knows that. She should have offered by now to renegotiate the terms. She's obviously content with that, you have to put your foot down. I would talk to your aunt and her about it, tell them your position, I'm sure your aunt will understand. And the mother will likely be grateful she's gotten away with it this long. I'd charge her the same amount you would anyone else, minus $5 or $10 a day.

Thx F :) I think that she thinks, I don't need to 'pay attention' to the other 4.. she had said, 'you dont' have to entertain them' when I was there recently with all 5. But I have to watch them lol. I have to set rules/discipline or they scream/run/ hit each other. How can I not watch them? And I do need to set up activities like you said /entertain in a way... or they become rowdy... however the mom is great in that she'll rent a movie for us, so I'm so grateful for that. So maybe she thinks I'm 'only' with the one year old? I have to clean up after all 5, talk, care for them/PJ's, dinner... that is not doing nothing Lol. But I do enjoy the mom, she's really kind and flexible, it's just I don't see how she wouldn't want to give a bit extra to me to keep good connections when I have them all... it is so hard for me to confront ppl, I had a very abusive mother, so I often feel anyone will also come down on me, or I'm 'wrong' in what I'm saying. Ty Fork, I need to try to stick up for  Me too..

That's like refusing to baby-proof a house thinking you can just tell them not to touch anything. lmao You have tohave activities otherwise they'll be bored and boredom is not what you want with five kids. Although I will say this, the dollar store is an awesome place to find a ton of useful stuff for watching kids.

Barring some sort of situation where she is incapable of paying extra (and even then, that doesn't mean you're obligated to take the job) she should definitely be paying you for additional kids, regardless of their age. You do, speak up for yourself, no one else will. And what's the worst thing she can say? No?

Ok, so no one 'allows' murder or allows to be treated badly lol... people do it. ESPECIALLY to nice people, or people pleasers like me. I am kind, always there for her, clean up, do duties and a bit beyond.. should someone take advantage of anyone who does their position and a bit beyond? No. Yet the do, sometimes. She might be one of them.  She is now in habit of leaving boat load of dishes every time I'm there:/ I understand with 5 kids you might have some extras, but they are there everytime, 2 days' worth. Because I had the time to do them on occasion, they are now always there, and I feel kind of like, I'm a housekeeper too. I do agree with the pay though, I need to say something. She did say once when paying me for 5k ids, 'let me know if that is enough'.. it wasn't but of course I didn't want to seem pushy. :/   Also, confronting someone when you have had years upon YEARS of trauma and degrading abuse is NOT something you ever wish to do- you feel less already, doubt, and don't want ANOTHER person who might down you... yet I have to learn to at least speak up a bit more ... ty for your thoughts today P (wow, 7 kids together , that is like a tornado whirled through lol... I agree if tthey have no direction they get rowdy ahhh!)

So sorry, I thought Forkndaroad was You also , above LOl... (with the reference to 7 kids at once at her house ) hahaha.. sorry P!!!

First of all, we aren't  discussing murder. 

I'm certainly not saying that you can't do nice things for others.  We need more people in the world like that. 

What I am saying is when you get into situations where people are expecting you to do more than was agreed upon, and you feel it's too much, you need to speak up at THAT time, not days or weeks later when you feel slighted.  But what you do is let people take advantage of you.  Why do you allow it in the first place?  You say you're a people pleaser, but what about pleasing yourself too?

There are loads of people out there ready, willing and able to use you. It's up to you whether you continue to allow it or speak up the moment it happens  Just keep in mind that when you don't, you're giving your silent consent.  You need to be your own advocate.  

You say it's not easy to confront people because of past abuse. What you don't seem to understand is that these people are abusing you as well, just in a slightly different manner.  

I remember a saying from long ago. 

Give until it feels good, not until it hurts.

PS-Don't think you're alone when it comes to abuse by family members. But you need to learn that you DO have a voice and you CAN use it in your own defense. 

Good luck. 

Thing is, when it is THAT time that it might occur (the giving me more tasks, coming home late, whatever the parent does etc.) I let it go b/c I think, 'well I'll be a good sport' or, 'I shouldn't whine' etc. I grew up FULLY believing and it is very hard to turn off, that I need to just 'comply'. always. I mean, my life was actually at STAKE if I didn't. So it overlapped into everything; friends, work etc; I comply to have peace, period. EVEN when taken advantage of. I have to stand fully now and literally keep saying OVER and over 'you have a right to more money' or 'you have a right to your voice'.. If I don't, I simply let many things go. I think I've let these things go in this regard b/c the mom knows my aunt well- her mom and my aunt are good friends. So I don't want to seem like I'm being picky or complainging (Again, most others would not consider actually sticking up for themself, 'picky' and that's what I need to learn for Me. I'm being reasonable and yet my subconscious says opposite; 'you are wrong')Ty for these tips P, I appreciate them- i often have felt even until recently, not only do I not have a right to voice what 'I' need, but there seemed to be no 'I' even there :/  Like I was invisible, to be grateful for any single thing I get , but I can't live like this anymore ... Ty again.

When is it time?  When these people start to overstep the boundaries that are in place. It appears they'll suck the life out of you if you don't. 

JUST because this woman is a friend of your aunt, YOU don't have a relationship with her. Yours is a business relationship. 

You say you comply to have peace. Your complying is giving you anything BUT peace. 

As long as you continue the mindset that you must comply or else, you'll continue the cycle of abuse and only the faces will change. 

Right, well it is peace for the  'other'... to make people happy. It does not provide 'me' peace always pleasing someone. I've done it To make them not reject me, think ill, think I'm combative; this is what I was told EVERY day, entire life, That I'm those things. so even though I now KNOW I'm not those things, I think, 'what IF they think I am?' And it goes back to, then I really am bad/less. :/  I agree, I'm not already an acquaintance with her, and I feel that she might feel she gets/deserves a break  because of who I am.... who knows if she does, or not but it is evident when she does not pay me additional for FOUR extra children too. :/  Ty again for your advice, it is so easy to say, you don't have to comply however my mind 's subconscious is embedded, 'comply or your are less.' It is so hard to completely banish that notion but I know I work at it EVERYday... thanks  P

Nobody said it would be easy, but the rewards will be huge and you'll finally have that inner peace you so deserve    

So sorry P, I thought the commenter above (Fork Ndaroad) was You as well.. lol. (concerning the 7 kids at her house which can be wild!!) Sorry again !! lol.