What would be better, for people to expect a lot from you or to expect nothing?
On one hand I feel like it would be liberating if most anybody expected nothing and sorta like just went away. On the other hand that sounds like a jerk thing to say. What about you?
It depends on the expextation, don't it? If it meant that people expected me to act in a certain way - respectful, mindful, being generally nice - then that I don't have a problem with that. If they ring a small bell and want to be waited on hand and foot I might have more of one. But don't we consciously or unconsciously set the level of expectation simply by being who and how we are, that's obvious. If people are really paying attention to us then that shouldn't be aggravating, don't you think? But if people didn't have any expectation (because I've set the bar really low) then I would have to say I was a bit of a douche bag.
You know what im referring to Ms Lucia, ), would you feel better having somebody to respond to, even if the expectation are high. . . Or. . . Having someone who is ok with whatever you do. . . or don't? For me. . .in my case. . . I'd feel better and happier if nobody expected anything.. . But I know that wouldn't be good for me. . . Yes?. .
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at April 3, 2017 4:47 PM MDT
I find it interesting also how all but one person goes for the no expectations as the preferred option. I wonder how true that really is. I think expectations are closely related to feeling needed and useful. . . Im not sure tho.. .no?
I do, I do. But I guess it comes down who and why. If, for example, there are two people who need to motivate each other or help the other achieve things they have hitherto been lacking the motivation for and they do it because they care about each other then the expectation is expedient. A sort of leg up over the wall.
I think that's preferable, don't you.
Expectation deficiency is more comfortable, then we don't have to do things that are hard, but I've come to realise that's not desirable. So with the right expectations from the right person, I'm happy with that.
I suppose that was an endorsement of your last question, about feeling needed and useful. I agree with that entirely. Maybe that comes back to the who expects what from us and why they do it.
('You know you would be happier but also know it wouldn't be good for you ...'
There's such an unselfconscious honesty in that).
It seems there are alot of us who, if they had their way entirely, would prefer just to sit under the tree just being themselves and whistling. But there is a chance that one day you look up and get hit in the eye by a dead, falling bird. )
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at April 4, 2017 3:51 AM MDT
Benedict Arnold 