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Baybreeze

Have you/someone you know ever confronted an employer with their behavior?

I am shy, very much so, and while I enjoy the woman I have nannied for, she does not reply to me when I email her, yet says she received it. I have been asking about when she will return to work and if (she's on maternity) she'll need me in summer/relative hours. She said again, she'd email me recently and still has not. I have bills and don't make much and if it were her, I'd be returning things she requests or asks/emails. Do you ever confront communication issues with employers, or have ever said what you felt to them?

Posted - June 5, 2017
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Responses


  • 10993
    Of course. Anyone who doesn't speak up for herself (in a professional way) will get taken advantage of. Employers are not mind readers and without your feedback they will just assume you don't care about hours or notice or workload or whatever the issue is. Think about how hard it is to a job when the employer doesn't let you know what they expect; this is the same situation in reverse. 
      June 5, 2017 9:49 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    Thanks Jane... it takes a lot for me to remember, oh yeah 'I' have rights too. I always think, well, they were busy, well, they didn't know, well, this/that.... I've given the woman several chances to fill me in on my hours for this month and she still has not... I just don't know whether to say, 'I would have returned your email the next day (not two weeks )..' or 'I find it hard when soemone does not return my message or when they say they will, still does not'... I feel pushy or demanding if I said that :(  I'd feel she'd not want me anymore, yet I am considering alternate hours b/c I cannot freely communicate... Ty for saying that we really should speak up
      June 5, 2017 9:52 AM MDT
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  • I always try to have important or crucial conversations via phone or in person. She is making self-imposed deadlines, not meeting them, and avoiding reply. Do you think there's a possibility she would replace you?
      June 5, 2017 10:11 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    I don't think so yet I do think there's a possibility for day care (it can be a bit cheaper) ... she has avoided answering me 3 times now, and I did ask, could you reply today? So we'll see, but it could be too that she is apprehensive again about going back to work and is just stalling replying to me in her mind.. she was very apprehensive about her first being with a nanny for trust issues.. so I'm not sure if she's doing the same thing now with newborn.. ? Yet she knows me well now; ty for your reply, I just don't know whether to say, 'usually I get a response back with other parents I've worked for within a day or two..' Inever stick up for myself, but I don't want to seem brazen either.. ugh why isn't life simple?
      June 5, 2017 10:23 AM MDT
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  • We often worry about things that never happen. I'd let it rest a bit, and then talk to her the next time you see her or cold call. Cold calls work best early morning before people get into their daily routines. Be brave.
      June 5, 2017 11:37 AM MDT
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  • 19937
    I deleted my posts as they obviously upset you and that was not my intention.  Please accept my apology.
      June 5, 2017 10:32 AM MDT
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  • 34246
    Just ask her if she plans on keeping you on in (whatever month) Tell her that if you do not have an reply by (date) then you will assume she will no longer need your services and you will begin looking for other employment  to begin (whatever month). However, if she confirms that she will still be needing your services, you are still willing to continue working with her.
      June 5, 2017 11:23 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    Thanks friend...appreciate that ..may do that soon and ty for your post
      June 5, 2017 11:41 AM MDT
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  • 46117
    You may be annoying her  and she is not getting back to you because this is not something she wants to do.   Why is it her concern whether you have bills or not?  That is not her responsibility. 

      When I email someone and they don't answer, I try ONCE more.  And if they still don't answer, they are not interested.   Pestering someone is a huge turnoff. 

    Look elsewhere for a job.  She does not deserve you.    I wish you VERY good luck.


    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at June 5, 2017 11:48 AM MDT
      June 5, 2017 11:39 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    Thanks S... No its not her responsibility but Ive shown care and respect to her and one only wishes for any communication back...at this point i didnt care if it seemed pestering because ive waited weeks to hear anything...My own dad who never cares of any part of me saidsai you have a right to know...ty for your kind words of good luck S
      June 5, 2017 12:05 PM MDT
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  • 7939
    You have to set your own deadlines with her and make it clear. i.e. "If I don't hear back from you by next Tuesday, I will begin accepting other positions." and you have to be ready to move on.

    I've had to fire a couple of clients and it's not pleasant, but sometimes has to be done. I do try to work with them- I set the expectations for working conditions and if they can't meet them, so be it. It's better for both of us to end the arrangement.
      June 5, 2017 12:13 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    She just replied tonight, ty J. (because I told her I need to know today... ) I had waited two weeks with her simply not replying, and now she is not returning to work after all.. I just wonder if she's known that all along, because with a parent at home (from a nanny view) it is hard; you are kind of micromanaged, and you are 'on' more so than usual most of the day. So now it stinks b/c I will prob. look into other hours (but I really loved the kid! and she was kind to me in other ways)... its' hard b/c the mom wants to step in (if the mom is at home) and she does that time to time .... :/ I agree that it must be hard for you to fire someone, yet it just isn't 'clicking'.. ty for your candid and open answer J
      June 5, 2017 6:51 PM MDT
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  • 22891
    i havent been working recently but did you check your junk folder? sometimes emails go there, i once wasnt getting emails from another answersite and when i emailed them about it they said they were getting emails that said my email didnt exist, stuff like that happens
      June 5, 2017 1:50 PM MDT
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  • 496
    I would never discuss an employers behavior towards me. That seems very personal. You are her employee not her friend. I would however start making other plans. If a parent did not communicate in a timely manner, I would email them one more time and then go find other employment elsewhere. 
    It seems that she is not answering you because she really doesn't know what she's doing or she doesn't want to commit to you. Whatever her reasoning she might have missed out on a good nanny. Natural consequences dictate that if she didn't act fast she loses you. So, move on. When she asks tell her you've found other employment.  She doesn't deserve an explanation just as you don't need to make a commentary about her lack of communication. 
      June 5, 2017 5:59 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    Oh no I couldn't do it, I just wondered to ppl do it? I read online it is ok to bring up the boss'/employer/parent behavior if it is affecting you or your environment or work. (in a kind way)... Ty for saying it was fine for me to say 'I have found another avenue' b/c I felt guilty if I had to say it. She just replied tonight saying she needs me, but not the full hours I was seeking... b/c she is now staying home from work. I wonder if she'd known that 2 weeks ago... her 3 month maternity were up in a couple weeks and I just feel maybe she has known she was not returning and simply just didn't reply ... I am unsure what I'll do, but it is def. hard with the mom there all day, they try to micromanage (although she only has done so couple times)... Ty so much Dragon, appreciate your thoughts :)
      June 5, 2017 6:54 PM MDT
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