Ha! You're slammin' me with direct-to-my-heart questions today, Rosie! :)
I guess this could be sort of related if I get your question correctly -- but I think my answer is a bit off-kilter from your question.
I had a very difficult and scary series of months a long time ago. Both parties involved have made amends as best as is healthy (for me, especially; I was verbally threatened and professionally/personally attacked ). Yet, even though I say, "It's over. Let it go," my mind can still go back, ""again" trying to make it better and somehow fix something. What I would be trying to fix, I don't know.
But "never again" is a much healthier response for me. Why do I wish to go back? Partly because I've spent too long trying to fix everything to make everyone happy and "status quo" -- I don't like conflict. That can all be OK but we only have control over our own choices and life -- and even then, much is out of my control. I need to serenely accept that.
This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at June 5, 2017 2:47 PM MDT
Thank you for the very kind compliment my friend. I appreciate it. As long the slamming doesn't hurt your heart I'm okay with it! I think you are too kind for your own good WQ. Now we've chatted for years on Answerbag and Answermug but I really don't know you that well. On the other hand I feel very comfy telling you that you are too kind. You want everyone to be happy. You want things to go smoothly. You don't want anyone upset. Here's the thing that you have to learn to accept. Some people thrive on conflict. It makes them feel alive. They enjoy disrupting the flow just to see what happens next. They are not concerned with ramifications or results or consequences. They don't care about anyone but themselves. If there is no conflict they will create it because they can't live without it. I've known several people like that and it is hard to believe people ACTUALLY choose that but some do. Nothing you do or say will ever change that. The problem isn't that you couldn't "fix" it. The problem is that they won't allow you to. Just my observation through experience and chatting with you. I don't know if that helps at all. Thank you for your thoughtful reply WQ! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at June 5, 2017 2:47 PM MDT
Hey, thanks, RosieG. I thank you for everything you shared just here. Yeah, I think you've nailed a couple of good points there -- points that other truly good friends have pointed out to me, too, about that situation I talked about. I have a lot to reflect on again - -"Some people thrive on conflict." That's the statement you made that stopped me here -- that could, in some ways, define the person that was involved. Yeah, of course, we've both heard the statement before but, for me, at least, sometimes growth and healing are a journey of steps and realizations that can pop up at various times, regardless of the amount of time that has passed.
And, yes, at times, I have been told I'm too kind. Or try to be too kind.
Thanks, again, RosieG -- a rather reflective Monday it became for me - - and that is good! Thanks! :)
And I often think of you anytime I heard The Eagles "Dust in the Wind" -- it's one of my favorites, too! :)
Oh my gosh WQ YOU REMEMBERED! That was so very long ago. Now I'm really touched that you remembered that. As they say a lot of water has gone under that bridge since then. We do miss old Answerbag don't we? Answermug has turned out to be another home away from home for me. But you know what they say...you never ever forget your first love. Answerbag was that for me in terms of internet social site My first! Of course then Rich (my son) invited me to drop by and take a look. I did and never left. It left me/us. But it was great fun while it lasted! Thanks for bringing that fond old memory back. "Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind!" :) ((hugs))
"other truly good friends" in my comment below -- - - by that, I meant people who know me in-depth in so-called real life - - and I included you there, too, as in people who wish me no harm. Somehow, my wording "read" wrong to me -- I hope you took it in the spirit I intended. :)
See? I admit it; I see it in myself -- wanting things to go smoothly and getting overly concerned if I think they might not! :)
I did notice that sweetie. That touched me very much too. A former almost-daughter-in-law gave me my favorite fridge magnet years ago. It says "Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them but you know they are always there" Today has been a splendid day for me as well. Luckily most days are. I am very blessed to have in my life things and people who make me happy. I wish that to everyone! :) I think avoiding those who make you unhappy is a grand plan to follow if you are able to do that! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at June 5, 2017 3:27 PM MDT
Funny you should mention that! One of our 3 sons (Gary) used to smoke cigars. He'd order them from some supplier and you should see the BEAUTIFUL boxes they came in! The artwork was sublime. So much so that I have a few of those boxes on display on a bookcase. I don't know if you are familiar with the long-ago artwork that was on orange crates back in the day. They were very beautiful too. One of the cigar boxes is wooden and says "Sun Grown" on it and it held 20 cigars "handmade in Honduras". Another wooden box says "Brick House" and those cigars were handmade in Nicaragua. One says "La Vieja Habana" and on the back it says " made entirely by hand under the care and supervision of Drew Estate in the tobacco rich valley of Esteli Nicaragua". That one isn't made of wood but the artwork is lovely. Gary used to be a long-haul truck driver so he'd have them sent to us and then pick them up when he was back in town. Don't know what he paid for them but he stopped smoking a few years ago. Small world. Thank you for your reply cp and Happy Tuesday to thee! :)
WelbyQuentin 