Should I Tell a guy/date never had a relationship?

So my question is,  if he asks that, 'Have you been in a relationship before?' or, 'How long was your last relationship?' I remain quiet? Also coming out of extreme abuse is not obsessed with my past, it is trying to get PAST  the past and wonder how I might go about all these normal things (like dating/love, confidence) anyone around me, or here even, has gone through normally, with little fear or doubt.

First of all ... he's not going to ask that ... he will assume you have . FYI guys do not ask about past relationships and they don't like when you bring up. If by chance he does, say " I like to leave my past in the past." Second of all... I was in an extremely abusive relationship... my first relationship. Also I had an abusive relationship ( emotionally) with a parent. Like you have. I know I come across mean or blunt. But deal with it on your own time ..: do not put that on someone else. That's yours. Suss it so you can be happy.

Thx J :) The thing is, if he said, 'Have you had a relation ship before, or when was last one?' do I simply say 'no.' Or, 'well I haven't found someone yet..' ? The last part isn't entirely true as I'm not saying' No I have not been in one'.... I commend you for being upfront with those guys, and I LOVE that you said he either accepts me or he doesn't .... Nice :)

Say whatever is natural for you and the conversation. I don't think those are natural questions. I usually get asked, "Why did your last relationship end?" or "How long has it been since your last relationship ended?" You don't have to delve into details during the initial discussions. I certainly wouldn't answer "Because my ex was a prick" for the first question. lol (Not at first, anyway. Haha!) By the same token, your "I haven't found anyone I wanted to date/ haven't met that special someone" is just fine. You don't need to elaborate. If the discussion is comfortable, the two of you might start talking about why you haven't dated. Again, you still don't need to mention PTSD and all that, but you can certainly hint around the edges. Be authentic and truthful, without necessarily airing all your dirty laundry up front.

I have met too many women whoose only purpose in life seemed to be 'having a boyfriend'. That fosters enough tensions even without adding your PTSD. I would suggest you focus on finding friends, you meet fewer vultures that way, and can be comfortably happy in eachothers company ;-))

JakobA- The comment came through as directed at me, but I'm not sure why it would be. That's the same advice, almost verbatim, that I've given Baybreeze in the past- to look for friends and find activities she enjoys first. Baybreeze and I have spoken at length about relationships of all types across multiple threads because we have similar backgrounds, though I've had more time to process mine and have moved on from it.

Thx Jakob :) See I WANT to just have ease about this love and dating thang lol ... yet so many guys want hookups (on online sites) right away and it seems most want to rush things :/ So I get intimidated and just decline anyone. I hope to find someone who WILL want to actually get to know me, and me them, before rushing anything serious. Ty for saying this , I really appreciate it :)

Yes JA, that's what I meant, 'How long since your last relationship?', and then I'm stumped... if you've had no relationship, it feels very awkward and I feel very low saying that I've not had one (at my age)... but I MUST give up the feeling that it will be 'strange'.. I have had guys tell me , knowing my age, they'd be fine with it if a woman didn't have anyone before.  I just never believe it, and feel they'd still ditch me in some way.. Ty for saying I don't need to elaborate on PTSD either.. I dread telling someone things that might seem like flaws , b/c that is what you don't like to present to someone you like :/  I guess someone kind would accept me and the anxiety... ty so much for being a wonderful presence here J :)

Thank you CMI- truly. I've had a few guys say that, and yet I still wonder if it's true. Like they'd find another way in which they didn't like me (the anxiety I have perhaps)... I hope to find someone who is kind and patient, do they exist?? lol. Ty again so much *hugg