Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Have you ever tried that advice of NOT impressing the one you like / first date etc?
Baybreeze

Have you ever tried that advice of NOT impressing the one you like / first date etc?

I get so so nervous b/c I feel I'll flub everything, get very red in the face and have to embarrassingly leave... have you ever just not impressed someone,. just been YOU and not your 'best foot' ? I think if I REALLY try to just not care (how can you though :/) maybe my anxieties with guys will slowly fade.

Posted - June 27, 2017
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Responses


  • 3523
    Sometimes shyness and clumsiness are cute.  One I did what I thought was the dumbest thing ever because I like this girl.  I turned beat red and probably even broke out in a sweat.  She and I became a couple anyway.  What seem dumb to you may seem okay or even attractive to someone else.  Go for it.  Isn't it worth the risk if you might not be lonely anymore?
      June 27, 2017 5:03 PM MDT
    3

  • 1138
    Awwthat's awesome it worked out :) I don't mean necessarily doing something dumb, but just feeling so much anxiety (within.. they might not seeit perhaps) ... like either heart palps, or burn feeling/hot, that I have to leave.... I'd just hate that. I am trying very VERY hard to get over this... ty so much for your thoughts CallMeIshmael :)
      June 27, 2017 8:25 PM MDT
    2

  • 3523
    Sorry about all the typos and misspellings.  (Hangs head and turns BEET red) I'm so embarrassed. 
      June 28, 2017 9:40 PM MDT
    1

  • 7126
    No games. What you see is what you get. I am always me. If someone's not okay with that, I'd rather know immediately so I can get them out of the way and find the right person. 
      June 27, 2017 5:09 PM MDT
    5

  • 1138
    So you don't spend lots of time 'primping' makeup/clothes, and feeling 'will I be open enough? smart enough? Pretty enough? silly/humurous enough?' ... I always feel like they are sizing me up to think if I'm girlfriend material (not all do I know)... and then I just decline a date b/c of fear :/ 
      June 27, 2017 10:22 PM MDT
    2

  • 7126
    It's perfectly natural to have fears and insecurities. But there's no point in playing games. It's not a real relationship if all you're doing is pretending and besides, sooner or later you're gonna have to be yourself. 

    Instead of worrying about whether they think you're girlfriend material, how about flipping the script and thinking about whether they're boyfriend material? You get a say in the matter too!  ;-)
      June 28, 2017 12:23 AM MDT
    4

  • 1138
    Thanks Lyrical , I appreciate that... I DO need to learn to just flip it around... Thx so much.
      June 28, 2017 9:57 AM MDT
    2

  • 22891
    i cant seem to get dates in the first place
      June 27, 2017 5:52 PM MDT
    2

  • 19937
    I only know how to be me.  I wouldn't know how to be anyone else.  If someone doesn't like that, it's their problem, not mine.
      June 28, 2017 11:00 AM MDT
    1

  • 46117
    How old are you? I think there are men that would love you.  I just worry that you will be taken advantage of by someone. 


      June 28, 2017 9:42 PM MDT
    1