"Betty-babe, Ran-Ran here. Yes, yes, I know you asked me never to buzz your mobile, some jazz about MI-6 and security concerns, yadda already. Listen, I don't know what your lion-tamers . . . how's that? Ok, shoot me, I don't know what your handlers and staffers, is that better? You must know I'm throwing up the finger-quotes as I spit that out, right? Anyhow, I don't know what those crazy Serfs have been telling your royal behind about my culinary skills, but the truth is that they are 100% nonexistent. Come again? No, granny, I'm trying to tell you here that Randastic don't even boil water. Don't ask me! How in the heck am I supposed to know who came up with this crazy idea? Maybe there's some kind of communication barrier, what with your peasants speaking to you with those weird British accents of theirs. Oops, you have a good point there: you have the exact same accent that they have. Sorry about that. But I digress, what are we going to do about din-din? Tell ya what: five blocks from my place there's a joint called Kevin's Chitlin Shack. Stop by there and pick up the $19.99 nightly special, but make sure they don't cheat you on the collard greens, shortening bread biscuits and grits. Chitlins, chitlins, c-h-i-t-l-i-n-s, woman! I swear, someone would think you're 80 years old or something. Technically, they're chitterlings, but nobody calls them that. Say, one last thing, Betty Boo: just in case you plannin' ya bust a move on a brutha and git you a one-nighter of Randy Candy, stop by a drug store and pick up a toothbrush. I ain't about ta deal with no dragon breath. Hurry up now, git off this phone and git movin'. Holla!"
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This post was edited by Randy D at July 2, 2017 4:14 PM MDT
Natasha Saphique 