SHE: "HELLO JAKE DARLING, YOU FREE TONIGHT? GREAT! I'M COMING OVER. RANDY'S BUSY WATCHING PORN."
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at August 19, 2017 4:58 PM MDT
Jake is her completely gay friend who wants nothing more to do with her than to spend hours at a time talking about fingernail polish and wigs, right? Right? Hello, Neelie, that's all he is to her, isn't it? Neelie? Neelie, please tell me I'm right, please tell me I have nothing to worry about! She's coming back to me, isn't she? Neeelie? Hello, hello?
No, this Jake is straight as a ramrod (double entendre intended), and is one of the best lovers I've known (pun intended). In fact it was I who recommended him to your friend who was quite fed up of your obsession with adult movies and needed someone who wojld pay more attention to her needs than his own.