Discussion»Questions»Relationships» If you've been, or currently are, in a relationship with a coworker, what are your views for or against office relationships?
All my co-workers are women.. and while that wouldn't necessarily prevent me :P Seriously though. I fell in love at first sight with a man I worked with.. I am convinced the balance of my mind was disturbed at the time as I had just been for an interview and had been told I had got the job.. I was on cloud 9 - then I met him..
I have, in my time, also witnessed many a coworker relationship.. some worked some didn't..
Please DON'T do it! There are more than just you and the love-interest involved in this: every co-worker and possibly clients, customers, etc, people who stand to lose out regardless of how the relationship fares. If either you or the other person is in a position of authority, regardless of a direct subordinate-manager connection, it can be unfair to other subordinates and managers that the tow of you are in a relationship. When it comes time to select someone for a project, promotion, transfer, etc., perceptions of unfairness will abound, even if kept silent. If and when a workplace romance ends badly, it makes for one of the ugliest environments to be in, not just for the participants, but for all others too.
I dated my boss for a while. It was not a good situation. There were certainly fun aspects of it, but, despite the fact that we tried to keep it under wraps, it did come out. I lost the respect of the superiors in my company. It's hard to explain, but I had a decent future with the company before that and would have made a good salary as a location manager within a year. It was a chain of locations, and I dated the manager of the place I worked. But, there were higher-ups, of course- an area supervisor who oversaw several locations and directors. I was on good terms with my area supervisor and he sat me down for my review one day and told me privately that it had come down from the directors that I couldn't be promoted as long as I had any affiliation with the guy, even after he left the company. I basically told them "too bad," I wasn't going to make my life decisions based on who my employer said I could date. The damage was done. I more or less became a pariah with the directors and managers of other locations. I was no longer eligible for promotions. I got shuffled around a bit until they found an excuse to fire me... ok, they said I "quit," but I didn't. That's how companies roll.
Dating anyone at work is a bad idea unless you're willing to give up your job for it. It may not seem like that's a possibility, but depending on your supervisors and how the company is set up, it could be the kiss of death for your career.
