I just graduated two months ago and I already quit my second massage job. Should I start blogging my life?

I totally LOVE the place I am in.  I won't mention any names any more because they fire people who work there that say anything unsavory about the company.  I would never do that, but I did leave because I felt like they were too GOOD for me.   Everyone there has been working there for years it seems and I cannot compete with that level of service just yet.   They have clients they have worked on over and over and they have reputations.  I have none, and when I make a goof, I feel like everyone is shaking their heads at me.  

But they told me to come back and they like me, so I am willing to do whatever they want when they behave like humans and go above and beyond for me.

I will do that for anyone myself, but I have to know I am wanted there in the first place.  They have been very sweet about this so far.  (I got a complaint Sunday and I felt demolished by it when my boss told me)   She is an angel, she really is, but she is very strict about service (I do not blame her, I just don't know what I did that caused someone to bitch about me) ... and she made me feel like no one makes this kind of a mistake and I just felt like a loser fool.) This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at August 25, 2017 5:25 PM MDT

You know I wish the best for you!!  

As I will do for you ALWAYS. 

Everything you are saying is exactly what I would give you as advice as well.  I know.  But you know, Jane, you told me about breaking your wrists?  I can sort of feel that and understand as a human who has broken some bones how much that must have hurt.  But it did not happen to me.  I bet.... I JUST KNOW that if I had to re-live your experience through your eyes, I would have a totally different take on it.  MUCH WORSE.  I cannot really put myself in the exact situation to feel for the hours you did, your pain.

Well, that is what this is like.  I am going through DAYS of stress and worry about everything I am doing there.  I cannot stand that feeling.  I feel nerve pain a lot more than most people.  Ironically, I can take a lot of regular pain, but pain caused by fear and worry?  It seems to connect to my nerves and stomach.  It almost levels me.   I can only take so many days of stress in a row.  So, that is what I am thinking about here.  Not about trying to learn the job, but if I need to go through this much pain, or look elsewhere. 

I want to do great here.  The spirit is not weak, the stomach may not be willing.  Thank you for listening, I do value your opinion.

This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at August 23, 2017 6:17 PM MDT

I might understand more than you think. I have experienced more than my share of stress and anxiety. It's probable that your anxiety will be with you no matter where you work. You are a strong person and have dealt with difficult life situations. This is something you can do. My secret weapon happens to be Xanax. Just a thought...

I have a doctor's appointment for Sept. 12.   I guess I am kidding myself when I think I am the only one with a bad case of nerves.  Especially on HERE after I have talked with all of you.  The anxiety will always be there, Jane, but somethings exacerbate it.  I am at the point right now that I am expecting all the stress to melt away because I have been so damned stressed for so long waiting to get a job in this field.  So, I need to take a deep breath and just go with it. 

I do take Nexium.  I don't think it's doing its job.

Nexium is for heartburn. It's pretty effective, but I won't take it because it can decrease bone density. Talk to your doctor about anxiety meds to get you through this. Sometimes anxiety gets worse when the main stresser is gone. It's like the body doesn't know that it doesn't need to keep releasing so much stress hormones and they have no place to go. There are daily meds like Zoloft that take about a month to kick in. Xanax can be used as needed and/or in combination with daily meds for breakthrough anxiety. I don't know how you feel about taking drugs, but I think they can free you up to deal with life. Some people won't take them because they think they 'turn you into a zombie', but that has not been my experience nor has it happened for other friends I know who take them.

I agree, kjames.  But I have to survive to GET there.  I get great tips from people, but I JUST started and I got a BAD complaint from someone and it did not look good and it really makes you feel devastated.  I mean I had to work on someone for 90 minutes after that and I could not even concentrate and kept imagining she could tell.  It is TOO much after all I have been through. 

I should be able to come to work and do a great job and just relax instead of feeling like an incompetent.  I am trying to stay there.  I will keep giving it another shot as long as they keep me, I guess.   There are plenty of jobs here, but I cannot show up with no reason why I just up and quit here.   I have to make them like me. 

Take it as constructive criticism and move on, the client probably prefers his regular therapist, and for whatever reason couldn't have them anymore.  Don't let one knock bowl you over.  They don't need to like you, you just have to be good at your job, be the person you'd want a massage off. Sit down take a thorough consultation, write on your cards things about the client, so that next time you see them you can pull your card out and say "How's the violin playing going?" How's that right shoulder feeling this week? Massage is about the whole of the person, that person for that amount of time wants to feel that they'll come out of your room and feeling like you care, and hopeful that they'll feel better. Enjoy giving your massage, relax, and get into the flow of it. This post was edited by kjames at August 23, 2017 5:00 PM MDT

Well this is all things we DO do.  But this woman had a complaint and I was not ready for it.  She probably was right.  You are right too.  It is not about how to do the job. I know all this.  I went to school for hundreds of hours, I think 1500 by now.  So I get how to do the job.

All the advice you are sharing excellent.  I know this already. 

And?  YOU DO have to make them like you or they do not return.  This is not a doctor's office where the doctor has the final word.

This is a customer service health job. Meaning I have to do what the client wants and there is a lot of competition out there so you have to have personality and get people to want and trust you almost immediately. I know how to do that part usually, because I was in sales for years.  I get it.

But, I am NEW.  I must put up with living through being new for a long time because there are a lot of good people that are NOT new.  And it is pretty hard to act like I am not new when I am.   Some people shoot right out the school door and just have a knack.  I did not have ANY knack at all.  I had to kill myself to learn this stuff.  I am a quick learner on academic subjects, I am NOT a quick learner when it comes to physical moves and learning how to do massage moves.  So, it depends on the arena where you have been trained I guess. This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at August 23, 2017 5:00 PM MDT

I know what the job implies, I did it for years and I was new once. 

Oh you are the MASSAGE GUY I talked with when I was in school.  YOU I WILL TALK TO.  LOL

I went to school for a long time to learn massage.  I know this is my career choice. I am past wondering if this is for me.  And my boss and the company are all great. I may not be ready for this level of expertese yet.

I have a lot of places to go, but I want to try this and at least give it all I've got before I just quit.  Or worse.  But they have been nice to me, so there is no squawk there.  I am just demoralized because I don't want to have to deal with this at all.  I get nervous when I am new and people doubt me. 

When I know what I am doing?  Nothing bothers me.  I know what I am doing.  When I am still new?  I feel hell inside my stomach.

Ah, beginners jitters. Probably coupled with a fear of making a mistake. Well, don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. You're going to make mistakes as you learn, and you will be learning up until the very end of the very last day you're a massage therapist, something that I'm sure that you know from past experience (the training is just learning where some of the ropes are, now you have to learn how to slam into them, how to test their strength and how to bounce off them). 

But you might benefit from some face time with a "psychologist" of sorts. Only we call this "psychologist" a "mentor", a friend. That's someone that's already been to the mountaintop in your field and knows what's important and what's not. It might cost you a lunch or three but it will be worth it. You'll learn those ropes quickly and feel a lot better about what you're doing, and you'll do really well. And above all relax, chill out just a bit. It's not like it's "politics"  .

All good stuff you are saying.  All true.  It is the 2nd day after I wrote this, I think. I am going back there again.  My boss said I should give them another chance and she will work with me as long as I need.

Well, I cannot ask for better than that.  I will do my best and you are a great person to talk to when we are not talking about Trump.

Ah, sounds like your boss is kinda volunteering to be your mentor. Bet she's been where you're at now too. If she's being genuine (and she probably is) all you can do is give it your all. As you say, you cannot ask for better than that. It will work work out fine for you and her.

And don't sweat the small stuff. And in the overall scheme of things it's ALL small stuff; even "The Donald"! 

Are you NUTS?


That is the worst idea.  Because?  I have to have people forever.  How do I control that? This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at August 24, 2017 7:52 AM MDT