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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Does it even hurt the 2nd time that you get your heart broken?
Benedict Arnold

Does it even hurt the 2nd time that you get your heart broken?


I know that every time someone close to me passes away I become a little more numb to the pain. I know what to expect and my system copes.
I wonder if I would be numb and better equipped if I ever went through another bad relationship or had to get separated again in my life?
I don't want to, but have you ever been betrayed again or had to end more than one long relationship and did it still hurt the same as it did the first time?

Posted - August 24, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • The first cut is always the deepest.
      August 24, 2017 7:30 PM MDT
    2

  • Well said.
      August 24, 2017 7:32 PM MDT
    1

  • 7126
    Experience can help but the math, as life itself, never works out quite so neatly.
      August 24, 2017 7:31 PM MDT
    1

  • Aww...I thought maybe if it ever happened again I would just be like "See ya, my heart is too strong now to care anymore." LoL!
      August 24, 2017 7:36 PM MDT
    1

  • 7126
    Lol.... I seriously doubt you'd want to be that kind of person. Besides, having a strong heart (plus experience) doesn't equate to not caring. Hopefully it results in wiser caring.  
      August 24, 2017 7:40 PM MDT
    1

  • "I think it does."

    Gene Pitney - "Only Love Can Break a Heart"

      August 24, 2017 7:33 PM MDT
    2

  • "Only love can break a heart and only love can mend it again."
    I like that Alf, thanks. : )
      August 25, 2017 7:10 PM MDT
    1

  • 23534

    Only once thus far have I let my heart be broken by a guy/love interest.
      August 24, 2017 7:43 PM MDT
    1

  • 591
    If it does not hurt, then it is not worth worrying about, so the future will be the same, if you care then you will hurt if it goes wrong. Having said that, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved. Good luck for your future.


     This post was edited by myonemaster at August 25, 2017 6:32 PM MDT
      August 24, 2017 8:55 PM MDT
    2

  • Thanks, I appreciate it. : )
      August 25, 2017 6:32 PM MDT
    0

  • 7939
    Eh, not so much. I think you gain an understanding of what works and what doesn't, so you're more emotionally prepared for the ending. For example, you'll catch patterns of dysfunction and see them for what they are as they creep up. I haven't had a long-term relationship that I really believed in since my divorce. I was ready for the endings. Actually, I caused all the endings. O_o 

    Hmm... Maybe if I spend 10+ years with someone again, the end would sting like the divorce did, but I really hope I never find out. For now, I can honestly say all subsequent endings have been easier. 
      August 24, 2017 9:00 PM MDT
    1

  • 591
    That has the ring of a self fulfilling prophesy. 
      August 24, 2017 9:08 PM MDT
    1

  • 7939
    Mmm... perhaps. I'll report back after my next breakup. ;)
      August 24, 2017 9:30 PM MDT
    0

  • 591
    In that case I hope I do not hear from you :-))
      August 24, 2017 10:26 PM MDT
    1

  • Thanks, that's what I was hoping I guess?
    I feel like I loved her so completely and blindly and now I can look back and see all of the red flags.
    I kinda feel like if my next girlfriend is honest, I'll know it and if she's like my ex then I should be able to recognize that too and then I can decide if I want to end it or just have fun and not get too attached because I already know how it's gonna end.
    That sounds like a crappy life though.
    Some part of me just wants to love with all my heart every time because I'm stupid like that, LoL!!
    Thanks for sharing your experiences.
    Wait! You caused all of the endings?
    Do you mean that you just ended the relationships?
      August 25, 2017 6:46 PM MDT
    0

  • 585
    It definitely still hurts. If it was true love, it will hurt. But it's a little different. You grieve without so much of the shock and confusion, I think. 
      August 24, 2017 9:33 PM MDT
    1

  • I think you're right.
    I know what people are capable of now and I shouldn't be so shocked if it happened again.
    I think at this point if I met a truly honest, loyal and sweet person I would be shocked, LoL!
    I'm sure they exist though.
    Thank you. : )
      August 25, 2017 6:52 PM MDT
    1

  • 585
    Yes, you definitely become more grateful for people showing basic decency. It's almost like meeting someone who is honest is a gift from heaven after your heart has been stomped on. Just don't let that lower your standards - you deserve more than just common niceties and straightforward communication. WAY more.
      August 27, 2017 5:55 PM MDT
    0

  • 46117




    It hurt the 3rd time too.


    When the 4th hurt, I dropped the mic.  Don't care any more.  I take care of me.

    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at August 25, 2017 7:40 PM MDT
      August 24, 2017 10:31 PM MDT
    2

  • Oh no, that's a terrible thing to have to experience so many times.
    I feel for you, thanks for sharing.

    Oh I just checked out your new profile picture that's crazy, LoL! This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at August 25, 2017 6:57 PM MDT
      August 25, 2017 6:55 PM MDT
    0

  • 16732
    If it doesn't hurt, it isn't broken. Death of a loved one? You NEVER get over that, a part of you goes with them.
      August 25, 2017 7:00 AM MDT
    2

  • Thanks.
    I do feel like my father and brother were part of my identity and It does hurt to lose loved ones.
    I've just had a string of losses in the last few years and when my brother died part of me just said "Oh no, you can't let this in because it's too much and you're not strong enough" so I just kind of threw my hands in the air about it.
    I cried, but I know not to dwell on it like I did with my dad.
    I know I can't change it and I need to be strong for our family to honor him.
    So I just dealt with it differently.
    It still hurts, but I don't know what to do about it so I just let it go.
      August 25, 2017 7:07 PM MDT
    0

  • 16732
    My mother died of cancer, aged 69, on January 2nd 2015. That wound is still raw and bleeding, we were close.
      August 25, 2017 7:28 PM MDT
    1

  • Sorry for your loss, I feel for you.
    I hope you are able to find strength and remember the good times that you had with her.
    I'm at the point now where I can look at a picture of my dad and rather than thinking about his suffering I can think about his smile and how good it felt when he was around.
    I talk to his picture sometimes as if he's still here and it helps me.
    Thanks.

      August 25, 2017 7:39 PM MDT
    1