Have you ever farted during an important meeting or in front of strangers?

I never even have made a bowel movement

Not that I can think of. What did happen once is I had a final exam in a very small class, just five of us, and something I had eaten right before did not sit well with my stomach. My stomach was making all kinds of embarrassing noises throughout the entire exam, when the room was supposed to be dead silent. Everybody heard it of course, but no one commented, thankfully. Of course, all that activity inside my abdominal region meant that I had to fart really badly the entire time, but I'm a master at holding it in. Worst test of my life, though. 

I do not fart and if I did they would sound like wind chimes and smell of roses.