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Discussion » Questions » Life and Society » Has self-pity always been socially acceptable?

Has self-pity always been socially acceptable?

I realized a whole lot of people I know are using the acronym FML lately. And, it kinda makes me want to tell them to throw some dirt on their wounds and move the heck on. It's not that I'm not ok with people venting or saying something bad happened to them, it's just that they treat it as if their whole life sucks because of one bad thing. 

What is this? Is this a new trend or have people always been this way and I didn't notice it? And, it's not millennials I see doing it- it's actually Gen Xers. :o

Posted - September 26, 2017

Responses


  • 7132
    I don't think anyone would prefer a friend who was beat up all the time. Admitting you were treated like a doormat is not indicative of self pity but rather your allowing people to take advantage of you and possibly issues with self esteem.

    There's nothing wrong with talking about your problems but when it's done ad nauseam in just about any situation to anyone who'll listen, then you've moved into the realm of self-pity.
      September 26, 2017 8:52 PM MDT
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  • 3523
    Got it.  Thanks for the clarity.  I've been confused about where the line is between being sad and having self-pity.
      September 26, 2017 9:24 PM MDT
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  • 6126
    Self pity is also combined with the refusal to move forward, preferring to stay stuck in their problem, repeating themselves like a broken record.  I had a friend like that.  It was painful being around her.  She just couldn't get out of her own way.
      September 26, 2017 9:55 PM MDT
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  • 13071
    Image result for funny gifs of people clapping
      September 26, 2017 11:45 PM MDT
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  • 22853
    i'm sorry for my answer in case you saw it before I got rid of it
    I've got to stop posting in high emotion.
    I'm very sorry, carbonproduct.
      September 30, 2017 6:08 AM MDT
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  • 6126
    Bah!  I had a long response to it and it got lost!  So, I'll truncate it.

    You are not someone who I see as self-pitying.  You have an issue that's out of your control.  And, yet, you manage to find the happiness in little things.  You have fun here, joke around with us, post good questions, and show compassion toward others.  I think most people will agree with me on this. 

    My friend was problematic in that she didn't care about anyone else.  She lied a lot.  She kept rehashing her old problems.  Other people would talk about their problems, and she would refocus the conversation onto herself.  She had no interest in fixing her life and or attempting to learn from her mistakes.  She lost all of her friends over the years.  I was the last holdout.  It took me many years to finally get to the point where I realized it was healthier for my mental well being to cut her loose.  :-(
      September 30, 2017 6:35 AM MDT
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  • 7132
    Sounds like a very wise decision.  
      September 30, 2017 6:38 AM MDT
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  • 13071
    Its ok, i know how you feel about postig things on high emotion. Ive got to stop doing that myself. LOL
      September 30, 2017 6:55 AM MDT
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  • 7919
    What LO said.
    I was more thinking about the people who post on Facebook and such, and their posts are along the lines of "I stubbed my toe. My life is terrible," and they mean it. :o

    A stubbed toe is nothing. Come back and complain when you'r missing an arm or something. lol In all seriousness, it's just different when someone shares in a group setting with general discussion happening, versus complaining about every bump in their life as as if they somehow have it harder than everyone else. Getting stuck in traffic, getting a sliver, stubbing your toe, these are not life-altering hardships. So, to treat them as if they're a huge issue and ruining one's life... meh. Just meh. Your example wasn't self-pity, and sometimes even self-pity is fine even, but save it for a real hardship. Just my thoughts. 
      September 26, 2017 10:44 PM MDT
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  • 2465
    I had no idea what FML meant until I just now Googled it. SMH has me stumped too, but I'm top lazy to look it up. Lol
      September 26, 2017 11:52 PM MDT
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  • Pretty much been acceptable for years mainly because we've become a country of whiners, crybabies, cowards, and wimps, wanting safe spaces to shut out reality. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at October 2, 2017 10:44 PM MDT
      September 29, 2017 6:40 PM MDT
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