A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce." The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."
Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.
She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.
She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.
She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here."
She asks, "What's that?"
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"
This post was edited by my2cents at October 18, 2017 6:54 PM MDT
Man and wife in divorce court fighting for custody of children. Wife says 'I brought these children into the world so they belong to me'. Man says 'suppose when I put a dollar into the machine and get a coke -does the coke belong to me or the machine'?
Divorce Court Judge: How old are you and how long have you been married? Husband: 'm 106 and my wife is 103. We've been married for 85 years. Judge: Why are you filing for divorce at this late date? Wife: We wanted to wait until the children died.
JakobA the unAmerican. 