A mother took her 6 year old to the dentist and turns out she had the days mixed up and had to re-schedule. The daughter looked at the mom and said, I brushed my teeth this morning for nothing?
Once upon a time, there was this little sparrow, who while flying south for the winter froze solid and fell to the ground. And then to make matters worse the cow crapped on him, but the manure was all warm and it defrosted him. So there he is, he's warm and he's happy to be alive and he starts to sing. A hungry cat comes along and he clears off the manure and he looks at the little bird and then he eats him. And the moral of the story is this: everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy, and everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend, and if you're warm and happy no matter where you are you should just keep your big mouth shut. ...... Assassins movie quote
Why don't elves drive Mokes? Moking is hazardous to your elf.
Have you heard about the new Law, that if you buy cabbage from Australian supermarket chain Coles, you're also legally required to purchase carrots and mayonnaise as well? Coles Law.
Cop: We found this evidence - a raspberry beret outside the second hand store. Detective: We'd better dust it ... (puts on sunglasses) ... for Prince.
Slartibartfast 