Discussion » Questions » Babies and Kids » Are parents to blame if their kids are arrogant? Is modest/humble something parents are SUPPOSED to teach kids or is arrogant better?

Are parents to blame if their kids are arrogant? Is modest/humble something parents are SUPPOSED to teach kids or is arrogant better?

 How do you account for those who are condescending/pompous/arrogant/conceited braggarts? Did they become that all by themselves or were they brainwashed to be precisely that by their parents?

Posted - November 13, 2017

Responses


  • 10635

    How does one teach their children humility?  Does they simply tell their child, "be humble"?  No; humility is one of those things that must be taught by example.   So does that mean if the parents are humble (in actions and words) that their children will automatically be humble as well (or vise versa)?  No.  No more than saying that if the parents never drank that their kids will never become alcoholics.  it might give them an edge, but it's no guarantee.  Personality type plays a lot with this.  However, some personality types are more prone to exhibiting arrogant behaviors than others.  For example an extrovert might seem more arrogant than an introvert.  {This does not mean that all extroverts are arrogant or that all introverts are humble!}  Everyone has an ego and when that ego is stroked it feels good (releases endorphins such as dopamine and serotonin  in the brain .. but I won't go into that).  Thusly, if one's ego is continuously stroked (be it by a parent, teacher ,friend, or whatever) that person may come to expect it (much like spoiling a child).  {Again, this is not a certainty.}  

    No one is brainwashed into being arrogant.  Everyone can resist being arrogant (although for some it may be very, very hard and others don't want to put forth the effort).  Many people who are arrogant don't see themselves that way.  They see themselves as deserving or being owed "whatever".  Arrogance is blinding (thus the proverb, "Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall).

      November 13, 2017 10:17 AM MST
    0

  • 113301
    The exact same way parents teach their children anything shuhak. By example is the best way BUT that isn't enough. You teach a child to compliment others for things they've done well. You teach your child not to be jealous/envious of others. You teach your child to share what he has whether it's playing with toys or treats to eat. You teach your child to respect others and their belongings. You teach your child that he is not the center of the universe. You teach your child to give the biggest apple to someone else and not hog it for himself. You teach your child to appreciate what he has and to be grateful for it by giving him examples of  how other children around the world live. You take your child with you to charitable events where it is age-appropriate and to participate in helping to the extent he/she can. Some parents take theirs kids to homeless shelters on holidays to help serve the food to those less fortunate. Priness Diana did that with her two boys and as a result they are very charity-minded as adults. You teach your child to think about others because children left to their own devices tend to be selfish UNLESS they live in a home with parents who are not selfish. You ask "how do you teach your child humility"? Have I answered your question?
      November 14, 2017 6:20 AM MST
    0

  • 10635
    Actually, it was more of a rhetorical question, which I went on to answer with the rest of my answer. 
    {Sorry if that was unclear.  My brain thinks at warp speeds while my fingers do well to type >4 words per minute.}
      November 14, 2017 2:14 PM MST
    1

  • 113301
    Did you find any value in what I wrote at all shuhak? Thank you for your reply and Happy Wednesday!   :)
      November 15, 2017 1:47 AM MST
    0

  • 10635
    Oh, yes!  And I totally agree with you!  That's exactly how my parents raised us (minus the homeless shelter).  It's always about others, never self.  My parents not only taught us this, day after day, but they lived it as well - day after day (no matter where they were).  Mom said that it was called loving others (real love puts others ahead of 'self').
      November 15, 2017 10:11 AM MST
    0

  • 46117
    I don't think that anyone can be blamed.

    What is the point of that nonsense?   If someone is not brought up properly, it could be the parents, it could be the genetic makeup.

    The child could have lost brain cells going through the birth canal.

    Who knows?

    I know that children learn by nurture, respect and example.  If a child has a parent who only provides two of those, it may cause a big problem.  Example and love and respect for the parent are totally necessary for any learning about how to behave is concerned.

      November 13, 2017 10:19 AM MST
    0

  • 14795
    Your parents and extended family are responsible for around 80% of your early  knowledge and upbringing...  Schools as well although many schools can be Bias with their teachings of minors.....

    mostly I think  kids try to emulate or copy their parents ,even though they may not realize it at the time....,
    i feel I'm growing into my parents shoes on a kind of equal basis.....
    My humour comes from my dad and my mum iften calls my dad a big kid for the crazy things I get him to do....

    Youd have thought he would have learnt by now ....but he's nearly as worse  as me all though he's a long way to go yet Rosie....
    i can still run rings around them all...lol
      November 14, 2017 6:45 AM MST
    1

  • 113301
    Long may you be able to do that NJ. Run rings around them. Thank you for your thoughtful reply and Happy Wednesday! :)
      November 15, 2017 1:55 AM MST
    0

  • 14795
    Your parents and extended family are responsible for around 80% of your early  knowledge and upbringing...  Schools as well although many schools can be Bias with their teachings of minors.....

    mostly I think  kids try to emulate or copy their parents ,even though they may not realize it at the time....,
    i feel I'm growing into my parents shoes on a kind of equal basis.....
    My humour comes from my dad and my mum iften calls my dad a big kid for the crazy things I get him to do....

    Youd have thought he would have learnt by now ....but he's nearly as worse  as me all though he's a long way to go yet Rosie....
    i can still run rings around them all...lol
      November 14, 2017 6:45 AM MST
    0

  • 2219
    If the parents are arrogant, their children will follow as a rule. Natch there are exceptions.  
      November 14, 2017 4:45 PM MST
    1

  • 113301
    I think it's inevitable to model after one's parents. Thank you for your reply Malizz and Happy Wednesday! :)
      November 15, 2017 1:48 AM MST
    0

  • 7280
    Yes, but at least it's better than being raised to be a "doormat."

    There are plenty of people around to knock the arrogant down a few pegs, but few are willing to help the doormat become assertive.

    Concentrate on building your child's self esteem and he will love himself enough to love other people as well---and to defer or assert when necessary.
      November 15, 2017 10:52 AM MST
    0

  • 1326
    Arrogance is a faulty trait that might be inherited. It is up to the parents to identify this very serious fault and do their best to correct it.
      December 27, 2017 11:26 PM MST
    0