What does "TRUE LOVE" mean to you? Are you experiencing it now? How?

Thank you for your reply Sharon and Happy Saturday. So you have experienced TRUE LOVE in your life with another or other human beings? God's love is separate and apart from what I mean.

There is a lot here m'dear and I want to put as much thought in my reply as you have put in your response. It may not be sequential. It will be as the thoughts occur to me so apologies in advance. First of all I do not agree that "the longer it takes to find that person, the less likely it will ever happen."  I've married a few times. I was divorced and alone for about 20 years. Then Jim came into my life. I was almost 60 and he was almost 62. Our birthdays are 5 days apart. I'm 80 now and he is 82 and we were meant for each other. At that age neither of us expected or even wanted a relationship. Now it's the most important thing in our lives. I was painfully shy as a child and still have the tendency to withdraw when I feel hostility or uncomfortable. I was never a partygoer or the kind of gal that everyone looked at whenever I entered the room. Still I did okay. When you're very young your ideas of "love" are what you see in the movies. Unless it's a tragedy the stories all end "happily ever after" except that you never see the "ever after". It's just implied. Life isn't like that. Oh. The next thing is this . It isn't HARD WORK. It shouldn't be HARD WORK to maintain a relationship. If it's hard and it seems like work something is very wrong in my opinion. It should flow. It should be comfy and easy and smooth. Sure you have disagreements from time to time but it never rises to a level where you abuse each other verbally or physically. I've never understood why folks generally talk about how much hard work it is. That would not be my cuppa tea. So you never know what's around the next corner or over the next hill Shuhak. I have found that when you are not looking for something you often find it. I hope that makes sense to you  because I have experienced that often. I go out looking for specific thing..clothing or a book or something. I don't find it so I move on to something else. Then one day! Lo and behold! There it is waiting for me. I think trying too hard to achieve anything can be counterproductive. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. My thoughts about you is "what a waste". You would be a wonderful companion for anyone who is thoughtful and on the same level as you intellectually. What I mean by that is you should have someone with whom you can discuss all things and be understood. I don't mean to sound snooty. It helps a great deal to understand each other without having to go to great lengths to explain yourself.  I hope I've given you some hope. I don't know your age but you are never too old to find TRUE LOVE. I know. It happened to me!  Saying you will "never" experience true love is not true. You can't possibly know what your future holds. I would get rid of the negativism and just keep yourself open to all possibilities. If the door to you is closed people will just pass you by thinking you're not open for business. If ya get my drift! :)

What I meant by "the longer it takes to find that person, the less likely it will ever happen", is that the older one gets, the narrower the field gets.  People get married, or they decide their content to be single, or they simply don't wish to pursue relationships (perhaps from being hurt too much?).

I agree, many times young people think that what they see on TV or in movies is how life is or should be.  They think that things are always rosy.  "We'll marry and have kids and all will be bliss".  Oh, it sounds nice, but if it were really like that, they’d go nuts.  Problems and adversities are what make people grow.  Without them, we become stagnant and apathetic - not happy (which is ironic).

Here's where we disagree.... "Hard work" -

I firmly believe a good relationship does require hard work.  If one sows lemons, they're not going to harvest roses.  Putting forth little or no effort in any relationship will yield a rather poor relationship - or no relationship at all.  One can't simply sit back and expect to have a "stellar" relationship.  That'd be like sitting back and waiting for $1 million to fall into your lap.  It doesn't work that way.  It takes effort.  It would be nice if all relationships were “comfy, easy and smooth”; and granted, some may seem that way.  Yet to get the relationship to that level takes work (i.e. effort).  If one never talks to their friend, do you think that friendship will last? 

Yes, disagreements and arguments must come (as we're all different and have our own opinions on things).  Without them a relationship won’t grow (we must learn to live with our differences, not merely work around them).   Granted, after a while, a relationship may get to be “easy, comfy and smooth”... but it took effort (hard work) to get to that level - even if it didn't seem like it.  If two people really enjoy their relationship with each other, then any “work” they do to maintain that relationship won’t seem like work.  Giving the other an occasional bouquet of flowers – for no reason at all; bringing them chicken soup when they’re sick; giving the other your coat when they’re cold; popping in on the other when they’re at work just to say hi; taking them out to dinner because they had a hard day at work; sticking a note in their lunch that says, ‘I love you’…. all these actions are “work” – whether they seem to be or not.

This post was edited by Shuhak at December 9, 2017 11:41 AM MST

Thank you for your reply officegirl and Happy Saturday to thee! :)

Though rare it does exist between two people as well officegirl. But those people don't cheat on each other or want to. They are steadfast and honorable and devoted to their mate. They don't flirt or play around or desire others. They admire but that's as far as it goes They do not desire others. With all the sleazebags flooding out of the woodwork currently it can be very depressing to realize how many scumbags there are. But dwelling on it doesn't cure it. Hopefully from now on such folks will be outed and pay whatever price their evildoings require. SIGH. Thank you for your reply and Happy Saturday!  :)

((hugs)) You know EXACTLY what I mean because you and Maureen experience it 24/7. That's Jim and me too. My sis and her husband as well. We're very lucky I know. Thank you for your reply Sbf and Happy Saturday!  That's the point. While neither of you are perfect (no one is) you are PERFECT for each other and are KEENLY aware of it. You don't stray either in body or mind when it comes to devotion and caring in that intimacy that only two can share. You're not even tempted! You can admire without desiring others. You don't fantasize about how "it" would be with others because you're just not interested. :) This post was edited by RosieG at December 9, 2017 1:05 PM MST