Well, Mrs. Santa was out of town at an Avon convention. What was poor Santa to do? He had already copulated with all the elves and reindeer. So, it was time to call in the professionals. Too bad. So sad. Poor Santa got the Aids.
All our Christmas traditions originated in movies, mostly Bing Crosby movies. Except Santa: he was invented by Coca Cola to sell pop in winter. So our "classic" Christmas songs are around 60 to 80 years old, and there have been rock & roll versions and gag versions added here and there. Tiny Tim died 1996, so all his works are more than 21 years old. Christmas has been transformed into Lightmas. When Trinity Broadcasting Network bought Twitty City in the nineties, the first thing they did was to hang a million lights in the trees. They made a big deal of updating the count every day. Classical music has mostly replaced Christmas carols, and computerized flashing lights have jumped the shark, not even devoted to any particular subject any more. Just Lightmas.
This post was edited by Not Sure at December 10, 2017 6:53 AM MST
I believe you've been sitting around with all that info, waiting and hoping to be able to find a question you could throw this all down under. Sweet Jeebus! You've found your vehicle!
Yes, Har, I know. It takes a sickwad to know another sickwad.
I love the words.
I mean the "lyrics" We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose, and we all know Frosty whose made out of snow. But all of these stories seem kinda...gay, 'coz we all know who brightens up our holiday.....
Mr. hankey the christmas poo, small and brown, he comes from you. Sit on the toilet here he comes! Squeeze him 'tween your festive bums. A present from down below, spreading joy with a Howdy Ho! He's seen the love inside of you, 'coz he's a peice of poo! Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny, he can be brown or greenish-brown (Mmm Mmm!) But if you eat fibre on christmas eve, he might come to your town.
Mr. Hankey the christmas poo, he loves me, I love you. Therefore vicariously he loves you (I can make a Mr. Hankey too! phrrrft)
Cartman: Well kyle, were is he? Kyle: Ugggghhh. He's comin' Stan: Come on dude push!!! Kyle: Uggggghhh. I'm trying!! Stan: Wait wait wait!! I can see his head!! Kyle: Ugggghhh!!!! Here he comes!!!! (phhhft) Mr. Hankey: Howdy ho! I'm Mr. Hankey the christmas poo! Seasons greetings to all of you, let's sing songs and dance and play! Now before I melt away! Here's a game I like to play. Stick me in your mouth and try to say: Howdy Ho Ho, yum yum yum, christmas time has come!!!
Sometimes he's runny, sometimes he's burnt, sometimes he's practicly water!! Sometimes he hangs of the end of your ass and won't fall in the toilet 'coz he's just clinging to your sphincter and he won't drop off so you shake your ass around, try to get him to drop in the toilet and finally it doooooeeees!!!!! (cough)
Mr. Hankey the christmas poo. Christmas leaves, he must leave too. Flush him down but he's never goooooooone!!!! His smell and his spirit lingers oooooooooonnnnnn!!!!
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