living people.... that haven't found what they are looking for, or people looking for a deeper meaning to life, or people wanting me to fix something. LOL
By and large, people in need. I can be in a room full of people or in a busy store, and I'm usually the one someone will walk up to and either ask for help or just start talking to about their life. Apparently I give off some kind of vibe in real life that draws those kinds of people to me. It doesn't seem to matter whether they just can't reach something on a shelf, they're trying to get money for the bus, or they're lonely and need someone to talk to.
Because of this, I have the tendency to attract the same crowd in my personal life. I often wind up associated with people who have mental health or substance abuse issues. That's something I've tried to be especially mindful of since my divorce because you can't "fix" broken people. You can only be in their corner- their success or failure rests entirely on them. And, I intrinsically want to believe that people are good and will do amazing things if they have the right kind of support... perhaps they can, but not all are ready to make the changes they need to in order to live a healthier and fuller life. Unfortunately, I've devoted way too much time to supporting people who were't ready to live a healthy life. As a result, I'm far more mindful of who I accept into my inner circle these days.
I seem to attract many people who are rather like me: quiet, subdued, introspective...but then again most of my friends have qualities that I lack and "fill in the gaps". And I seem to repel people who are shallow.
I think that lately I attract some really sweet and genuine people, but I also seem to be a great target for narcissistic people because I feel bad for people, I feel guilty if I don't help them and I try to be honest and I still love people even after they hurt me.
Narcissists and liars can take advantage of me and they definitely have. I'm the kind of guy they're looking for, for sure.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 9, 2018 6:16 AM MST
1. incongruously varied in appearance or character; disparate. "a motley crew of discontents and zealots" synonyms: miscellaneous, disparate, diverse, assorted, varied, diversified, heterogeneous; More informalragtag, raggle-taggle "a motley collection of vintage fabrics" antonyms: homogeneous
noun noun: motley
1. an incongruous mixture. "a motley of interacting interest groups" 2. historical the particolored costume of a jester. "life-size mannequins in full motley"
Depends on context. Most of my life it's been the needy ones. I've had to learn my limits.
More recently, in the context of horses, it's people who want to share and extend their riding trails, while at uni, thankfully, it's fellow writers.
A complication is that my father admonished me never to initiate relationships, to let people come to me. It became a habit. And so I don't know much about how to initiate when I feel an attraction to someone as a possible knew friend. I don't know how to guess whether initiating is welcome or not.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 9, 2018 6:17 AM MST
Weirdos and nerds. There was one nerdy boy who worked at a coffee shop I used to visit in the mornings, he seemed to like me too. Sadly the coffee shop went out of business and I haven't seen him since. I should have made a move when I had a chance, but I was waiting for him to make the move. He was too shy I suppose, but so am I. The worst was the creepy old man at work who kept trying to get my number and address and tried asking me out, he always flirted with me, too. Dude, you're like a million years older than me, back off! That kind of desperation doesn't really bode well with me, either. It just scares me off.
Haha well really I'm always quite surprised! But in general I would say average Joes looking for someone safe to have a fling with. Would guess I'm perceived as being able to take care of myself. Which is pretty much the case.
officegirl 