.
up front and honestly .. while you don't want to hurt them you also don't need to feel guilty because of their feelings
I think you can copy/paste that and send it.
In a true friendship, the words need not be spoken. This is a qualification which only applies when a friendship 'deepens' to the point where sexual tensions develop.
It shouldn't hurt the friendship if you are honest about it and simply say you only want friendship and nothing more.
It's much kinder to be honest about that. You'll hurt them and your relationship much less if you're upfront with them. Leading someone on isn't cool.
That's good.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
imo, if they have a 'thing' for you, there is no way... mostly because they don't want to be 'just friends'.
For me? I'm horribly pathetic here, and give a guy a loophole...
"I, er, you know, prefer girls"
"What? Really?"
"Yeah, so..."
"'K, I respect that"
"Good, thanks"
"Wait, so it's not out of the question"
"No. Huh? What do you mean?"
"Well, you said preference"
"No, I mean choice, no, I mean, Frick, I don't date guys"
"At all?"
"Not date date, I'll hang out..."
"Oh, so we could go out?"
Shee ite...
Sincere apologies, wanted to augment my thoughts (which takes me way too long), and was interrupted and deleted my reply (follow-up to you was in regard to setting someone up, which you've answered).
Anyways, I liked your reply. I can totally relate, and like Miss Dee--deep down--hate to hurt another person. Hence, I have difficulty coming out too direct because I don't want to hurt someone, which then lends to open ends. So, it drags on until I--like you said--have that crucial conversation. Unfortunately, I've never seen this turn out happily ever after. The heart goes where it wants (I guess). From then on, always that underpinning current of hurt, embarrassment, and guilt. Have you ever had this turn out otherwise (promise not to delete this)?
Say it straight.
If he really is a friend, he will remain one.
If his desire is so ardent that it's too painful for him to continue as just friends, then accept it with grace.
Letting him go gives him the freedom to find someone else.